Rory: Right or left?
Lane: [o.s.] Left.
Rory: I thought you said left.
Lane: [o.s.] Sorry. My left, your right.
Rory: Okay. Marco.
Lane: [o.s.] Polo.
Rory: Marco...
Lane: Polo.
Rory: Hey, Marco.
Lane: Hey, Polo.

Lane: Man, what's that?
Rory: My notes.
Lane: Really?
Rory: I don't think Shakespeare knew himself this well.

Rory: I really miss Stars Hollow High.
Lane: You're kidding, right?
Rory: No. Chilton's just... I don't know, hard.
Lane: What do you care? You were always Miss Everything's-So-Easy-At-School. This should be a snap for you.
Mrs. Kim: [as Rory and Lane go to place their books down] Nope. This is sold. Move. What's that?
Rory: [grabs candy bar] That's mine.
Mrs. Kim: That is chocolate-covered death.
Rory: With a creamy caramel surprise.

Lane: So, this guy asked about you today.
Rory: What guy?
Lane: The new kid. Tall, perfect.
Rory: What did he want to know?
Lane: Where you were.
Rory: Well, what did you say?
Lane: I told him you were just too smart for us and you had to go to the genius school.
Rory: Oh.
Lane: He really liked that. I guess he's into brainy chicks.
Rory: Well, I'll keep my eyes open for one for him.

Lorelai: No Black Sabbath.
Drella: No one's listening.
Lorelai: No Black Sabbath, no Steely Dan, no Boston, and no Queen.
Drella: [sighs] What happened to make you so cold?
Lorelai: You like that Mozart.
Drella: I am the Artie Shaw of harpists.

Lorelai: I'm so exhausted, and I have to drive to Hartford tonight to go to a parent-teacher meeting.
Sookie: Sounds great.
Lorelai: Yeah, this school is so different from Stars Hollow. You know, they send home a thousand pages of updates every week. It's a very intense place.
Sookie: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Last week, there was this huge debate over whether plaid scrunchies were acceptable headwear. People took sides. Things got ugly. The scrunchy motion finally passed, and I like to think I was the tiebreaker.
Sookie: That's nice.

Woman #1: That's the one who voted for the scrunchies.
Woman #2: Must be a scholarship student.
Lorelai: Excuse me.
Max Medina: You know what? I think this would be a good time for a break. There's coffee in the back. [to Lorelai] What were you gonna do? Hit her?
Lorelai: No. I just- I had some good verbal comebacks ready. [drinks coffee] It just keeps getting worse.
Max Medina: Well, you know, not drinking it is always an option.
Lorelai: Not in my world.

Max Medina: How is she liking Chilton?
Lorelai: She loves it.
Max Medina: Really?
Lorelai: Yeah. It's an adjustment, of course. But she's always wanted to go to Harvard. This is how she'll get there.
Max Medina: Harvard?
Lorelai: Ever since she could crawl, I've really wanted her to go there.
Max Medina: It's a great school.
Lorelai: I actually bought her a Harvard sweatshirt when she was four. Of course, it was way too big for her. So she used it as a blanket for a while, and then as a diaper on this shopping trip. And now I've told you a story that would so mortify her she'll kill me when she finds out you know.
Max Medina: Don't tell her then. It'll be our secret.
Lorelai: Well, I appreciate that.

Lorelai: Listen, a "D" is one grade. It's not the end of the world. You'll catch up, you'll do better. You are of hardy, stubborn stock. If there's one thing I gave you, it's stubbornness.
Rory: I'm not stubborn.
Lorelai: Yes, you are.
Rory: No, I'm not.
Lorelai: Fine. You're not.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: You're welcome.

Rory: On Shakespeare.
Lorelai: The bard with a beard. Love it.
Rory: It's 20% of my grade.
Lorelai: Just makes life interesting. Now what do we have to do to get you an "A" on that test?
Rory: Do you really think I can do this?
Lorelai: I bet you $1.
Rory: That's it? That's all my future's worth, $1?
Lorelai: Well, you did get a "D."