Rory: [on the phone] Oh, my God!
Lane: Are you all right?
Rory: I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No! I got hit by a deer.
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign, and he hit me!

Sookie: He said my risotto was fine.
Lorelai: Isn't it?
Sookie: No, it's not fine. Fine is a word you use when someone stops you on the street that you sort of know, but you don't want to talk to. They ask you how you are, and you say "Fine." And that's enough so they don't have to keep talking to you, "cause they don't want to. Then they can feel good because they've been considerate enough to ask and if, God forbid, something actually is wrong they'll actually sit down, take time and listen, even if they don't want to.
Lorelai: Sookie, I don't think he meant fine as a slam or as a monologue.
Sookie: He couldn't have meant it any other way.
Lorelai: Sookie, I hate to see you get so upset over one little review.
Sookie: This is pride, Lorelai. I mean, you know about this risotto. I mean, on my mother's deathbed-
Lorelai: You made the risotto and she lived three more years.
Sookie: She was supposed to be dead. The doctor said she wouldn't live through the night.
Lorelai: And she lived because of the risotto, the magic risotto.
Sookie: And this guy had the nerve to say it was fine.
Lorelai: I don't think he knew the story.

Rory: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: You should have told me.
Rory: I couldn't.
Lorelai: You couldn't tell me? You tell me everything.
Rory: It was too humiliating.
Lorelai: Honey, you once told me that you loved Saved By the Bell. What could be more humiliating than that?

Rory: But you don't understand. I was up all night studying and then I missed my bus. So I had to drive.
Max Medina: Let's discuss this outside.
Rory: So, I'm driving down this road, and I get hit by a deer.
Max Medina: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer. [Max Medina scoffs] You don't believe me? I've got antler prints on my mother's car.
Max Medina: Rory, come on.
Rory: No! You have to let me take this test! I'm ready for it. I know everything there is about Shakespeare.
Max Medina: Okay, okay, you've to calm down now.
Rory: I know his birthday, his mother's name-
Paris: Loser.
Rory: And just what is wrong with you? You already have everything. You already have the grades and the status. What is wrong with you that you have this need to be the biggest jerk in the world?
Max Medina: Okay, let's go.
Rory: Huh. What's up, quippy? Why so silent?
Max Medina: Outside, now.
Rory: [to Tristin] And, for the last time, the name is Rory!

Lane: [on the phone] Was it a four-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer.
Rory: I don't see him.
Lane: Well, put salt down. Deer love salt.
Rory: Where am I gonna get salt?
Lane: Do you have a lunch?
Rory: Lane!
Lane: Sorry.

Lorelai: You're never gonna find the deer!
Rory: Well, I'm gonna try.
Lorelai: I'm in heels.
Rory: Stay in the car.
Lorelai: It's dangerous in the car with all the kamikaze deer running around.
Rory: I have to find it.
Lorelai: All right. Wait up! So what does the deer look like? Does he have any distinguishing marks besides the word "Jeep" imprinted on his forehead?

Lorelai: Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel! [gasps] This is really bad coffee.

Rory: Okay. I need legal pads.
Lorelai: Got it.
Rory: Tons of pens, some number 2 pencils, three highlighters, an eraser a staple remover, and a folder.
Lorelai: You need three highlighters?
Rory: Yes, three.
Lorelai: That's a very random number.
Rory: Three is not a random number.
Lorelai: I mean, how did you get to the number three?
Rory: One dries up, one gets lost, I have one left.
Lorelai: You've really thought this out.
Rory: Yes, I have.

Lorelai: All right, fine. Here's your serious paper.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: And here are your somber highlighters, your maudlin pencils, your manic-depressive pens.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Now, these erasers are on lithium. So they seem cheerful but we caught them trying to shove themselves in the pencil sharpener.
Rory: I'm going home.
Lorelai: No, wait. We're gonna stage an intervention with the neon Post-its and make them give up their wacky, crazy ways.
Rory: You're never coming shopping with me again.

Lorelai: Hey, let's get ice cream. I'm bored. Hello?
Rory: Mom, I'm studying.
Lorelai: But I'm talking ice cream. Can't you take a break?
Rory: I can't take a break right now.
Lorelai: Okay. When?
Rory: Are you four?
Lorelai: No, I'm hungry.
Rory: Have some more pizza.
Lorelai: It's cold.
Rory: Heat it up.
Lorelai: It's not the same.
Rory: Lorelai, go to your room!
Lorelai: Wow, smart girls are mean.