Emily: And after Sophia, we had Anton.
Richard: That's right. Anton was the one that I liked.
Lorelai: I'm sorry. Dad, how do you mix up Anton and Sophia?
Richard: What do you mean?
Lorelai: Well, one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: And your point being..?
Lorelai: That one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: I have a lot to do in a day, Lorelai. I don't have time to keep up with the multitudes of people that your mother employs.
Lorelai: But one is a man and one is a woman.

Lorelai: Uh, Rory has to pick a team sport to play.
Rory: It's a requirement.
Richard: "Physical fitness is as important as intellectual fitness." So says Plato, and so say I.

Emily: I'm trying to help your daughter get an education.
Lorelai: Thank you, she'll find another sport.
Emily: Why should she?
Rory: Because she doesn't wanna go, and Dad doesn't wanna take her.
Emily: Oh, your father doesn't know what he wants. He'd get his hair cut at the butcher's, if I let him.

Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp thing in my ear than go to the club.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razorblades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: [giggles] Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather surgically alter my face to look like the lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would you? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.

Lorelai: We brought dessert.
Emily: Really? How thoughtful! What is it?
Lorelai: Blueberry shortcake.
Emily: I've never heard of blueberry shortcake.
Lorelai: Yeah, it's a Stars Hollow specialty.
Emily: Why is it already cut?
Lorelai: It's left over. From the wedding. At the inn.
Emily: I know where the wedding was.
Lorelai: Oh, sorry. You were just doing that staring thing.
Emily: You brought us used dessert?
Lorelai: It's not used. It's left over.
Emily: How nice. I'll just put it in the kitchen next to my half-empty box of cheer.

Lorelai: You had a big lunch at the club?
Rory: Yeah, it was quite good.
Lorelai: Quite? What's with the "quite"?
Rory: What do you mean?
Lorelai: You don't ever say "quite."
Rory: I've said "quite" plenty of times.
Lorelai: Whatever. So besides the "quite good" lunch you had, what else happened?
Rory: Nothing. We played. I met his friends. I took a steam.
Lorelai: You took a steam?
Rory: Yeah. I sweated out all my toxins, and I stole a towel.

Richard: Dinner was lovely, Emily. Mira does make a perfect cassoulet.
Lorelai: Who's Mira?
Emily: Our cook.
Lorelai: I thought the cook was Heidi.
Emily: Oh, no, we let Heidi go months ago. She had a problem closing things. The door, the refrigerator...
Richard: The liquor bottle.
Emily: Then it was Trina, then Sophia.
Richard: Oh, I liked Sophia.
Emily: You did not.
Richard: I didn't?
Emily: She was the one who sang.
Richard: That's right. Terrible woman.

Rory: Hey, Grandma, these plates are really pretty.
Emily: Thank you, Rory. They were your great-grandmother's.
Richard: Lorelai the first.
Rory: I thought Mom was the first.
Richard: No.
Emily: Not in the name.
Lorelai: No, but in so many other things, I was a regular trailblazer. Just finishing your thought, Mom.
Richard: Lorelai I was my mother. She was an extremely accomplished equestrian a distinguished patron of the arts and she was also world-famous for her masquerade balls. She was quite a woman, my mother.
Emily: Yes, she was. Mira, come cut the cake, please.
Lorelai: Yes, and why don't you bring Sarah out here with you?

Emily: So, Lorelai, how are things at that charming little inn of yours?
Lorelai: Hmm. They're still charming and little. We're crossing our fingers it doesn't assert itself and become rude and large.
Rory: Mom's having a huge wedding there this week.
Emily: Really?
Lorelai: Yeah. Actually, there's people coming from all over the country.
Emily: Isn't that nice?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Emily: Rory, how's Chilton?
Lorelai: Okay, done with me now.
Emily: I'm sorry, was there more to the story?

Emily: What sport are you going to pick?
Rory: I'm not sure. I'm not really the athletic type.
Lorelai: I told her she should go out for the debating team.
Rory: That's not a sport.
Lorelai: It is the way the Gilmores play.