Man: [speaks French]
Michel: No, sorry.
Man: [speaks French]
Michel: Sir, I'm a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this Francais business you're babbling about.
Lorelai: Pardon. He knows you are not from Texas.
Michel: Smile when you say that.
Lorelai: Michel, I told you there would be a French group here for a couple days and it's your job to keep them happy.
Michel: Lorelai, I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable.
Lorelai: Really?
Michel: That is why I left France.
Lorelai: Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches and the villagers. Michel, talk to them.
Michel: Never. You are giving me that look, aren't you? Your patented "do it or something unspeakable shall befall you" look. [sighs] Fine. I shall be French, but I shall not be happy.

Lane: Philadelphia.
Rory: Philadelphia? If you could live in any city in the world you'd pick Philadelphia?
Lane: M. Night Shyamalan lives there.
Rory: Who?
Lane: The guy who directed The Sixth Sense.
Rory: But what would you do there?
Lane: Hang out with M. Night Shyamalan.
Rory: Okay, cross "Guidance Counselor" off your list of potential career choices.

Lorelai: I really like him, Rory. I can't help it. It's been a long time since I've felt like this. You can't always control who you're attracted to. I feel like the whole Angelina Jolie-Billy Bob Thornton thing really proves that.

Emily: [on the phone] You are impossible to reach.
Lorelai: Well, there's no messages on the machine, Mom.
Emily: I don't leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I'd talk to my VCR.

Emily: [on the phone] Where were you?
Lorelai: At a wake. [Rory signals to her mother]
Emily: A what?
Lorelai: A wake. A funeral.
Emily: A funeral? Whose?
Lorelai: It was for the neighbors' cat. Mom.
Emily: Hold on. I'm looking up "aneurysm" in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.

Lorelai: So, where did you say Dad was?
Emily: Away on business.
Lorelai: Location's top-secret?
Emily: Oh, Germany.
Lorelai: Germany. Is Dad's firm insuring Nazis?
Emily: Your father doesn't know any Nazis.
Lorelai: I know, Mom. I was just-
Emily: What?
Rory: Joking. She was joking.
Emily: Oh, hard to tell.

Lorelai: Whoa, whoa. Two problems: One, impossible to get away from the inn on Thursday. Two, I've never met this woman.
Emily: You certainly have.
Lorelai: When?
Emily: Several times.
Lorelai: I'll take one.
Emily: We went to her house in Groton to see the first moon landing. She'd just gotten a new Philco.
Lorelai: I have no memory of this whatsoever.
Emily: Rory, correct me if I'm wrong, but men have walked on the moon regardless of whether your mother remembers.
Rory: That's the rumor.
Lorelai: I know men have walked on the moon. I just don't know Claudia.
Emily: So you're not going?
Lorelai: Not this time.
Emily: I don't think Claudia's planning to die a second time.

Emily: Fine. Oh, wait, Rudolph Gottfried.
Lorelai: Another cousin?
Emily: No, a Nazi that we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories.
Lorelai: Mom, you socialized with a known Nazi? That's despicable. That's heinous.
Emily: No, dear, that was a joke. [Rory laughs]

Lorelai: Where does your mom think you are?
Lane: Oh, on a park bench, contemplating the reunification of the two Koreas.
Lorelai: Not here, skanking to Rancid?
Lane: Wouldn't be included.

Dean: Good book?
Rory: I don't know yet.
Dean: I saw you standing in line, so I thought I'd say hello. Hello?
Rory: Hello.
Dean: Hey, thanks for helping me get the job at the store. I mean, it's not a career or anything, but it's got me solvent.
Rory: Solvent is good.
Dean: Yeah. Are you always this serious?
Rory: No.
Dean: So, how long does it take you to get to school?
Rory: Um, forty minutes if the bus driver's focused but longer if he's trying to win something on the radio.
Dean: Hey, this bus is going to Hartford.
Rory: Yeah, I know. But you go to school here. You have to get off the bus. Hey, he has to get off the bus.
Dean: Wait. You're forgetting something. Buses make stops. Goodbye, Lorelai Gilmore.