Jess: [on the phone] You haven't seen the fliers?
Rory: I've been home all night. What fliers?
Jess: It says, "People are already raving about Miss Patty's one woman show."
Rory: And?
Jess: There's some blurbs. One says, "Rory and Dean couldn't stop talking about it."
Rory: We're on a flier?
Jess: You and a bunch of others. "The mailman says, even without proper postage, this show delivers."
Rory: Well, now she's making that up ‘cause Ralph's not that witty.

Zach: But why would Dave and Lane wanna play just love songs?
Lorelai: Because, I was just thinking, you know, with Dave's name – Dave – you've got the last two letters in love. V, E. And with Lane's name, you have the L. You can just dump the A and add an O and there you go.
Zach: Makes sense.
Brian: Totally.

Lorelai: I am going to Manhattan this weekend and I need to shop for some warm clothes.
Luke: You already have warm clothes.
Lorelai: I have nothing.
Luke: We're in Connecticut. It gets freezing here same as in New York.
Lorelai: No, it's not the same.
Luke: Exactly the same.
Lorelai: Well, I have nothing stylish enough.
Luke: That's not true, you got the black cashmere coat.
Lorelai: But it needs cleaning.
Luke: So clean it.
Lorelai: But I need some sweaters, too.
Luke: You've got the purple, you've got the powder blue, you've got three shades of red, you've got a ton of black, all of which will go with that coat. Plus, you've got a dozen scarves to mix and match with any of those tops.
Lorelai: Let me shop for some clothes.
Luke: Okay.

Rory: Okay, what's the packing crisis?
Lorelai: That's the thing. I have no packing crisis. For the first time in my life, there is no packing crisis. See? This has never happened to me before. I'm all packed, ready to go, and fully confident that I have everything I'll need or desire.
Rory: So you're creating a crisis out of nostalgia?
Lorelai: No, see, Alex and I talked about everything we plan to do and how he expected to dress and how I expected to dress, and we coordinated to the point where I knew each piece of clothing I had to bring, down to the Spice Girls necklace I plan to wear Saturday morning for breakfast because we agreed to keep it a little whimsical.
Rory: So, not your Jonas Salk necklace?
Lorelai: [sighs] I'm trying to become as good a planner as you.
Rory: So, what's the problem?
Lorelai: I have no idea what to wear on the drive. I wanna look good, obviously, but not too good that it steps on my night outfit, and I also wanna be comfortable.
Rory: What's he wearing, a jogging suit?
Lorelai: Yeah, and then after, he and Paulie are hitting the Bada Bing.
Rory: Your point being, it's probably not a running suit.
Lorelai: Right.
Rory: And tonight's a dress?
Lorelai: And, my cashmere coat and a hat.
Rory: Your stretchy jeans and your Bunnyranch T-shirt.
Lorelai: Comfort and raunch, I love it.

Rory: And what are you worried about happening?
Lorelai: What you guys were on the on-ramp for up at Luke's the other day. Your basic boy/girl stuff. Especially with this new boy, you girl stuff.
Rory: The boy is different, but I'm still me. That hasn't changed.
Lorelai: Yeah, I know.
Rory: And I have so much on my mind, so many things going on in my life, that I don't ever have time to think about... that.
Lorelai: No thinking at all?
Rory: None, I swear.
Lorelai: Mmm, sure, sure.
Rory: And we talk about everything together, you and me, remember? So it's not like something will happen that you won't know about.
Lorelai: Good.

Emily: The roast looks perfect. Oh, Jess, you eat meat, I hope. I forgot to ask.
Jess: I'm a carnivore.
Emily: Good. I don't see how anybody can resist eating meat.
Jess: It's why we have teeth.
Emily: That's how I feel. Dinner parties used to be simple. Now every time we give one, I have to run my menu down with every person on the list. It's tiring. This one eats just about anything.
Rory: Grandma.
Emily: I'm sorry, but the way you and your mother eat, and those slim figures of yours – it's a medical marvel.
Jess: They should be studied.

Emily: So, Rory tells me you're part of the Wal-Mart corporation.
Jess: Only out of necessity.
Emily: They sound like wonderful stores.
Jess: Oh, yeah, I wanna be buried there.
Emily: We've never actually been inside one, but we own the stock.
Jess: Thanks for the paycheck.
Emily: Oh. [chuckles] That's very funny.

Jess: Why are you pressing this? Why? I'm trying to make some kind of quasi-positive impression on your grandmother per your request and you're forcing me to do otherwise. And what the hell are raisins doing in a salad? Why can't people leave well enough alone?

Alex: This is the worst piece of crap I've ever seen.
Lorelai: What?
Alex: I saw Moose Murders. This stinks worse.
Sookie: [laughs] I thought it was me.
Jackson: I was dying in there.
Lorelai: Every song is the same.
Sookie: The same two notes.
Lorelai: How does that happen?
Sookie: [sings] I feel so very bad. Yes, I feel so very sad.

Alex: Who are you expecting?
Lorelai: Oh, Rory. I mean, not that I'm expecting a call because a call could mean something bad, so, not getting a call is probably best.
Alex: Probably.
Lorelai: I'm just gonna give her a call.
Alex: You know, on the drive down here, you made me promise to stop you if you were gonna call Rory for the wrong reason.
Lorelai: But I left the iron on.
Alex: She'll turn it off.
Lorelai: She's got this boy.
Alex: I know.
Lorelai: I shouldn't call her.
Alex: It's up to you.