Rory: Oh, that's not dangerous.
Paris: Fire kills germs. And I'm sleeping with one of the other girls tonight.
Rory: How very The L Word.

Lorelai: [gasps] A check to me for $30,000. [Luke shushes Lorelai] Luke, this is the money I was gonna ask you for.
Luke: And you did ask, and there it is.
Lorelai: But I didn't. Not officially. I blubbered an amount to you, and we didn't get to talk about a repayment schedule.
Luke: It's okay.
Lorelai: Or interest or collateral. I had charts and projections. I wanted to take you out to a nice dinner.
Luke: So send me a honeybaked ham.

Emily: [on the phone] Gilmore. Richard and Emily Gilmore. Look, we single-handedly put your restaurant on the map by praising your crab puffs at Eunice Pierpont Pennington's granddaughter's christening.
Lorelai: Hi, Mom.
Emily: Oh, really? You're new there? Because your deft handling of this phone call displays all the signs of a seasoned and experienced hand. Yes, go get Trey. That's a smashing idea.

Emily: I've seen that on you a dozen times. You really should update your wardrobe.
Lorelai: My wardrobe is fine, Mom.
Emily: The summer lines are coming out. You should hit a store.
Richard: No need for you to hit any more stores, Emily. You've done enough shopping for a lifetime. For Methuselah's lifetime. Hello, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Hi, Dad.
Emily: I didn't say I was going shopping, Richard.
Richard: It's an instinct that requires no verbalization.
Emily: I was suggesting that your daughter update her wardrobe.
Richard: No need to spread your disease either.

Emily: I should hang up and let you both starve.
Richard: What do you mean, starve? What happened to dinner?
Emily: I told you not five minutes ago that dinner was ruined.
Richard: Did you?
Emily: Yes.
Richard: I heard the word "loin," but I didn't think you meant dinner.
Lorelai: Ugh, this is making me very uncomfortable.

Emily: If we're going to Bastide, you should change your jacket, Richard.
Richard: All right.
Emily: And please shave that mustache, I beg of you.
Richard: I want to see what it looks like fully grown, Emily. That was the agreement.
Emily: Well, it looks like a caterpillar now. In two weeks it'll look like a bigger caterpillar.
Richard: Very funny.
Emily: I'm not trying to be funny.
Richard: I will shave it when I shave it.

Rory: Oh, excuse me. Can I have your autograph?
Dean: What?
Rory: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were one of the Village People.
Dean: Ouch.
Rory: I'm kidding. I'm a kidder.

Dean: What are you doing here?
Rory: I'm meeting my mom here. We're playing hooky.
Dean: The flower's a private joke for her?
Rory: You know me well.
Dean: Yeah, I do. So, you okay and all?
Rory: Yeah. Oh, that. I'm fine now. A little nervous breakdown can really work wonders for a girl. I didn't mean to lay all that on you.
Dean: That's what shoulders are for.
Rory: You've got a heck of an understanding shoulder.

Rory: Hey, how often does this happen?
Lorelai: Oh, well, it's a hot lunch every day. Plus they always bring something for the group. Yesterday it was peanut brittle Lindsay made. It broke a crown, three teeth, then a HazMat team came and took it away.

Lorelai: They put everything on pretzels nowadays. I love that.
Rory: You're our new best friend, Howard.
Lorelai: We don't say that to just anybody.
Rory: Just anybody holding free food.
Lorelai: We'll be back.
Rory: Stock up.