Lorelai: [leaving a message] Hi, Rory, it's me. How's school? You learning stuff? Listen, we have the horses, Desdemona and Cletus, and the first two rides have to be me and you. And hopefully, you're over the time that I took you for the pony ride, and the pony was old and just sort of stopped and laid down, and you sort of rolled off into the ditch. It's really not likely to happen again. I promise. So, call me, call me.

Lorelai: Michel?
Michel: I'm at the Tally Rand making the money that keeps me from having to stand at expressway off-ramps selling bags of cherries.

Rory: [leaving a message] Mom, it's me, I left you a message at home, too. I love that you got horses. As far as that pony ride when I was a kid, you were forgetting one little tidbit there. That pony did not lie down. He died, okay? He died. And then the owner dragged him away by the back legs. Every time I use glue, I think of him. But I'll watch you ride, how's that? Call me back, bye.

Emily: [on the phone] Your grandmother is coming back from Palm Beach. Your father has to run over to her house to open it up for her, and then she will be coming over here for the evening to berate me and tell me that my couch has some sort of smell.
Lorelai: Oh, well, that sounds fun.
Emily: She wants to have lunch - sorry, a luncheon - the day after tomorrow. You, me, your father, and apparently she wants to meet Jason. All we need is that filthy Eminem fellow to make it a perfect afternoon for me.
Lorelai: on Well, I'll try to track him down, Mom, but you know, he might be on tour or something.
Emily: Just be here and be on time, and get your hair cut. You looked like the bird lady from Mary Poppins the last time I saw you.

Sookie: I feel very antsy right now, like I just ate some dark chocolate and drank an espresso.

Lorelai: But we could drop the horses.
Sookie: Desi and Cletus, over my dead body.
Lorelai: Well, the upkeep is astronomical. Maybe if we drop one of the horses.
Sookie: And who's making that choice, Sophie?

Michel: [answers phone] Tally Rand Hotel, may I help you?
Lorelai: Michel, good! Listen, emergency, can you-
Michel: You are not going to believe this. Celine Dion is here. I'm not five feet away from her.
Lorelai: Cool, spiffy. Listen, is there any way you could-
Michel: Oh, my heart is pounding through my chest. She's so beautiful.
Lorelai: Yeah, she's very pretty. Listen!
Michel: She's lovelier in person than she is on TV, and so nice.
Lorelai: Oh, I've only heard good things about her. Listen, can you please-
Michel: And I have a pimple today. Of all the days to have a pimple.

Rory: I was wondering if I could go over a couple of things from your lecture the other day. Okay, well, I wrote something down here, but I cannot for the life of me read my own handwriting. Seriously, if I had this analyzed, Charlize Theron would be playing me in a movie. 'Cause I'd be a serial killer, and pretty girls like to get fat and play serial killers 'cause they win an Oscar and... I'm sorry, should I go on?

Rory: Oh, no, no, I'm fine, really. I just have a little trouble with game theory, that's all. I blame my mother. She always made up the games at home when I was growing up. I begged her for Monopoly, but she insisted on "Mimic Your Favorite Sweat Hog", so...

Paris: Look, I know you like having her around, that she brings back memories of those sunshiny Stars Hollow days when the two of you would hold hands, and skip through fields of wildflowers, and sing Carpenter songs, but she doesn't belong here, she belongs there. And do me a favor and stop blabbing.