Rory: The weird thing is that the whole dynamic has changed for me.
Lorelai: Really? How so?
Rory: Madeline and Louise, Paris' best friends they said hello to me the other day.
Lorelai: Really? Like a normal hello, not like a "Here's Johnny" kind of hello?
Rory: Normal, friendly, no acts.
Lorelai: Wow. You're the new Heather.
Rory: I guess.

Rory: So, how's Swann's Way coming?
Lorelai: Oh, finished.
Rory: You're kidding. It took me forever to read that. I had to renew it 10 times.
Lorelai: The first sentence. I finished the first sentence.
Rory: Ah.
Lorelai: It's just I'm so swamped right now. It's the wrong time to start reading the longest book known to man.

Emily: When I heard I almost fainted.
Lorelai: How- How did you hear, Mom?
Emily: I have friends, Lorelai. Headmaster Charleston's wife for one.
Lorelai: Oh, that's great.
Emily: The entire school is talking about it. And what do I say? How do I defend this?
Lorelai: It was a mistake.
Emily: A mistake? A mistake? Is that what you call it?
Lorelai: Well, I tried to call it Al, but it would only answer to mistake.
Emily: A mistake is when you throw out your credit card bill. A mistake is when you forget to RSVP to a dinner party. A mistake is when the gardeners miss trash day and the barrels are full for a week. This, my girl, was not a mistake.

Lorelai: Rory, look at the baby.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: "Buttercup was found cold and wet, hovering under a hydrangea bush along Highway 26." It's a sad highway!
Rory: As compared to all the happy highways she could've been abandoned by?
Lorelai: "Her lineage includes cocker spaniel, golden retriever, Bouvier des Flandres"-
Rory: Gesundheit.
Lorelai: Thank you. "And rottweiler."
Rory: "Buttercup is a special dog. She is extremely skittish and tends to react badly toward blond-haired females, brunette males, children of either sex, other animals, red clothing, cabbage, or anyone in uniform."
Lorelai: [to Luke] Hey, we just found the doggy version of you.

Luke: Do not let these two anywhere near a dog. They can barely feed themselves.
Lorelai: Shut up, you. We would be excellent pet owners, thank you.
Rory: You cannot be serious.
Lorelai: We could get him a pretty bowl.
Rory: It's a her.
Lorelai: And a new name.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: This Buttercup thing really has to go.

Rory: Do I need to remind you of Skippy?
Luke: Skippy?
Lorelai: I can't believe you would bring up Skippy.
Rory: Skippy was our hamster.
Lorelai: He doesn't care.
Luke: What happened to him?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Rory: Every time Mom would put her hand in his cage, he'd bite her.
Lorelai: And laugh.
Luke: Hamsters can't laugh.
Lorelai: Oh, this one laughed. Trust me.

Rory: So, finally, she got fed up.
Luke: Of being laughed at by a hamster?
Lorelai: Well, yeah.
Rory: She stopped cleaning its cage. Instead, every day she'd stuff Kleenex in there.
Luke: You didn't.
Lorelai: It was the quilted kind.
Rory: So this keeps going on, and the cage is just a cage full of Kleenex that moves a little. And the smell, really good.
Luke: I can imagine.
Lorelai: No, no, you can't.
Rory: Then she takes the cage to the place where we bought him, waits for the sales guy to go behind the desk, dumps it on the counter, then bolts.
Luke: You abandoned your hamster?
Lorelai: Look, I know it was bad, but this was a vicious hamster. This was like a Damien hamster with little beady eyes, and a big forked tail and a cape with a hood and... Bye-bye, Buttercup. Bye, Luke.
Rory: You did the right thing.

Lorelai: Oh, I want a pet.
Rory: You have me.
Lorelai: You won't get my slippers in the morning.
Rory: I might if you had slippers.
Lorelai: Will you wear a collar?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: It'll be pink.
Rory: You're sick.
Lorelai: Hey, watch how you talk to me. Remember what happened to Skippy.

Max Medina: Okay, correct me if I'm wrong.
Lorelai: Salt, please.
Max Medina: Twenty minutes ago, we were sitting at the dinner table, weren't we?
Lorelai: Yes, we were.
Max Medina: There were candles and flowers and plates and knives and cloth napkins.
Lorelai: I loved the little sombrero napkin holders. Very ole.
Max Medina: And the whole time we were at said dinner table you ate two, maybe three bites of this amazing dinner I made for you.
Lorelai: Pass the bread.
Max Medina: Yet, as soon as that dinner is over and I start cleaning up suddenly, that's when you're starving.
Lorelai: What can I say? Watching someone work makes me hungry. If I hadn't stopped watching This Old House, I'd be 500 pounds now.

Lorelai: Hey, did you read Rory's paper yet?
Max Medina: Not yet.
Lorelai: It's really good.
Max Medina: I'm sure it is.
Lorelai: And oh look, it's right on top.
Max Medina: Isn't that a coincidence?
Lorelai: Wow, there are some really big words in here. I hope you have a dictionary with you when you read it.
Max Medina: Oh, I will.
Lorelai: You know, I could just save you the time, and put an 'A' on it for you.
Max Medina: Well, that really wouldn't be fair to the other students whose mothers aren't here, would it?
Lorelai: Yes, you're right. Although, life isn't fair, and the sooner those kids learn that, the better.
Max Medina: I'll take that advice into account.