Luke: Now, here. I'll take this one.
Kirk: Ah, old widow Mason. Thought she was Frieda Callow toward the end.

Paris: Rory's quitting Yale. I just went to see her and she told me she's quitting Yale. Did you know about this?
Lorelai: Yes, I did.
Paris: It's Logan. That Christopher Atkins wannabe is the reason that she's suddenly Blue Lagoon-ing it right out of school.

Lorelai: I have no choice.
Paris: Yes, you do. You can stop her. You can pull some of that supermom crap that you always do and get her to change her mind.
Luke: Yep.
Paris: Rory can't quit Yale, we have to do something.
Luke: I agree.
Paris: I mean, we should kidnap her. Drag her back here and tie her up and not let her loose until she listens to reason.
Luke: Yes.
Lorelai: Luke.
Luke: Hey, my suggestion first.

Judge: I understand the defense is portraying this as a childish lark. A youthful indiscretion. Well, I take the law very seriously. And if there's one thing I have very little tolerance for, it's rich, privileged children viewing the world as their private playground. I don't care who you are. I don't care who your family is. When you commit a crime, Miss Gilmore, there must be consequences. Period. Twenty hours of community service won't do it. I'm ordering three hundred hours of community service to be completed in no more than six months, and one year's probation.
Rory: But I can't do three hundred hours. I... I have to get a job.
Judge: Well, add that to your list of things you should have thought about before you decided to joyride on someone else's boat.

Emily: [on answer machine] Lorelai, it's your mother. I want to thank you for the lovely little surprise you left me this morning. I can't wait to tell the girls at the club all about it. I mean, they're always bragging about their daughter did this and their daughter did that. Well, finally I get to go in there and say, "Oh, really? Well, today my daughter invited me over and then didn't show up. And then she had me watched by a surly barking Frenchman so that I didn't steal anything!"
Lorelai: I didn't invite you over, Mother!
Emily: "Top that, ladies!" This was unforgivable, Lorelai. Disgraceful behavior, even by your standards. And since I assume you've torn up all of my notes, I'll read them to you. I made copies. "Dear Lorelai, I was shocked and saddened by your decision not to be at home when I came by for Rory's things."

Lorelai: You guys must be pretty jazzed, though, huh? I mean, you finally did it, you finally got a shot at getting the daughter you've always wanted.
Richard: I'm too tired to have this conversation.
Lorelai: Rory, here, right under your roof. Excellent.
Emily: You're being ridiculous.
Lorelai: Now you get your do-over. A new and improved Lorelai. Congrats. Very well played.
Richard: Lorelai, listen to me. I know that you think some sort of con has been perpetrated on you.
Lorelai: Hey, it's only a paper moon, Dad.
Richard: The fact of the matter is, your mother and I were just trying to do the right thing. We're all striving for the same goal. We want Rory happy and healthy. Now, she's taken a bit of a stumble. But we can get her back on the right track. All of us, together. We're going to need your input and your involvement to achieve that.
Lorelai: My involvement ends here, with the laundry basket.
Emily: What is that flip remark supposed to mean?
Lorelai: It's supposed to mean that I'm out, you've won, she's all yours. Course, the laundry basket, I'm going to want back.

Kirk: You can't leave until I get that ring back. If I propose, I'm going to need that ring.
Luke: You have a suitcase full of rings.
Kirk: But that's the one that I sort of remembered her liking.
Luke: Pick another ring.
Kirk: But my backup ring pulled through. Plus, now there's talk of her wanting to be buried with it.

Lorelai: Come on.
Luke: Huh? Where are we going?
Lorelai: To funky town.
Luke: No, hey, wait.
Lorelai: What? Did you change your mind? Oh, how did I screw it up so fast? Was the Funkytown thing too quippy, 'cause I thought you liked that about me, but-
Luke: No, the funky town thing was fine. I just- [sighs] Are you sure you want to celebrate now? I mean, a minute ago, when you came in here-
Lorelai: I just want to be happy right now. Okay?
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: Good. Now, come on.
Luke: Where are we going?

Lorelai: Okay, Taylor, listen. You're going to be the first one to hear the big news.
Taylor Doose: Do I have to hear it now? I have so many things to-
Lorelai: Luke and I are engaged.
Taylor Doose: You are?
Lorelai: As of just a few minutes ago.
Taylor Doose: Well, what do you know. I thought there was a better chance of all four of the Beatles getting back together than you two ever calming down long enough to get engaged.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, right?

Luke: Let's just drive to Woodbridge. They have a Liquor Barn there.
Lorelai: No, I don't want to drive all the way to Woodbridge. I want to celebrate now.
Luke: But men aren't supposed to drink Zima.
Lorelai: Pay the man.
Taylor Doose: You can forget the tax. Consider it an engagement present.
Lorelai: Thank you, Taylor. Come on, get the Zima.