Luke: Rory's coming in tonight?
Lorelai: Yeah, she's going to see Lane's band play at Positively Four Street tonight. They have the coveted three in the morning slot.
Luke: I hear that's how Zeppelin started.

Lorelai: Yeah, her genius plan is to come home, go to bed early, set the clock for two, get up and go rock.
Luke: Solid plan.
Lorelai: Yes, except that when the clock goes off at two, she will be dead asleep and won't hear it. I, however, will. I will then proceed to get up, drag myself downstairs, recreating a classic Zucker Brothers moment and then I'll shake her awake. She'll get up, throw on some jeans, a t-shirt, and no make-up and look like a Neutrogena ad, whereas once she leaves, I'll pass out on the couch, too exhausted to make it all the way upstairs, and in the morning I will have bags under my eyes that should have Tumi stamped on them. I love being a mom.

Emily: [on the phone] Do you really think that it's going to work this way?
Lorelai: What way?
Emily: That you just check the itinerary and pick which Friday night dinners you'll deign to come to, and which ones you won't?
Lorelai: I am not picking. It just happened that this Friday I-
Emily: That you wait 'till we have a guest like the Pope for dinner and then say, "Oh, yes, well, now it's worth my while to have dinner with my family, I get to meet the Pope."
Lorelai: You're Protestant, Mom.

Emily: [on the phone] You do not get to cherry-pick which Friday night dinners you attend. It does not work that way. It's never worked that way.
Lorelai: I wasn't cherry-picking.
Emily: If you come to this dinner, you come to them all. That's the deal.
Lorelai: Well, I'm really not sure that I'm free every Friday night from now through eternity.
Emily: If you come to this dinner then you come to them all. That's the deal.
Lorelai: As I said before, I'm just not sure about my schedule-
Emily: Well, I'll tell you what. You go check that schedule of yours. If you show up on Friday night, the night that Logan Huntzberger happens to be here, then I'll assume that you've discovered that your Fridays, at least for the foreseeable future, are free. Good-bye. [hangs up]

Richard: [on the phone] Something very remarkable happened today. I got a call from someone wanting to know if I was Lorelai Gilmore's father.
Lorelai: Really?
Richard: Outside the context of trouble at school, that's the first time anyone's ever asked me that.

Lorelai: They're running the article.
Luke: Good, I'm glad that they're running the article. I never liked that you pulled it.
Lorelai: Yes, well, if you recall, I pulled it only after I suggested my mother might have been personally responsible for global warming.
Luke: Are you seriously worried that things might get worse between you and your mother?
Lorelai: Good point.

Emily: And your usual, Lorelai? A sidecar?
Lorelai: Sidecar? No.
Emily: Isn't that your drink?
Lorelai: No, my drink is a martini. It's always been a martini.
Emily: Really?
Lorelai: Yes. Pretty much every one of the other eight thousand times I've had a drink here it's been a martini.
Emily: I would've sworn you were a sidecar girl.
Lorelai: Not even sure what's in a sidecar, Mom.
Emily: Well, Richard, apparently Lorelai would like a martini.

Emily: That's with a twist, Lorelai?
Lorelai: Nope. An olive.
Emily: In a vodka martini?
Lorelai: Not vodka, Mom. Gin. It's always been gin. Gin martini.
Emily: Really?
Lorelai: Yes, always.
Emily: I don't remember that at all.

Emily: Here you go, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Mom, there's an onion in here.
Emily: Is that not what you wanted?
Lorelai: Olive. I said olive.
Emily: Well, I heard onion.
Lorelai: Well, I said olive.
Emily: Let me get you an olive.

Lorelai: Is there going to be alcohol with dinner, Mom?
Emily: What?
Lorelai: You know, booze? 'Cause I haven't been able to get even a Kropog of gin since that first drink.
Richard: A Kropog is a unit of distance, Lorelai. Not volume.
Emily: And there'll be wine with the meal. There's always wine with the meal, Lorelai. Honestly, you're acting as if you've never been here.