Emily: Rory, I've been meaning to mention to you, we read that wonderful review you wrote on the ballet. It was excellent.
Richard: Oh-ho-ho-ho, you eviscerated that girl.
Rory: I actually didn't mean to eviscerate her. I was just trying to be honest.
Richard: Well, you honestly sliced her open and ripped out her guts.
Emily: Your pen was your knife.
Rory: Right.
Richard: I especially liked the reference to the hippo.
Rory: That seems to be the most memorable for people.
Emily: And the bra strap.
Richard: I should give you a copy of it to read, Jason. It's terrific.
Jason: It sounds interesting.
Rory: I just wrote what I thought.
Emily: And the line about regretting how evolution had led man to stand on two feet because it led to this night.

Jason: Anything else, Emily?
Emily: You need more?
Jason: Please. I'm a desperate man.
Richard: Well, don't be shy, Emily. You're a walking Zagat guide.

Rory: Well, no, but these are simply background facts of a fascinating personal journey. A personal journey of an artist struggling against the indifference of an indifferent society, just dancing as fast as she can. Well, it's 8 Mile meets Fame.

Lane: You told me when I was like six that this was my special marriage jug that you were gonna keep on a special high shelf for the boy I'm going to marry.
Mrs. Kim: This thing?
Lane: Yes.
Mrs. Kim: It's just a jug.
Lane: What?
Mrs. Kim: I probably told you that to make you stop crying. You always cried when you were little. Gave me a headache.
Lane: It's just a jug?
Mrs. Kim: I've got tons of them. They're hard to move. We could make it a marriage jug, whatever that is.

Lorelai: What's wrong?
Emily: Oh, it's your father. I wanted him to go upstairs and clean up, but I can't pry him away from that partner of his.
Lorelai: Digger's here?
Emily: They're in the study doing something computery. When did we suddenly become so dependent on computers?

Emily: One of them - a married man - had a long conversation with how shall I put this delicately? A woman of less than reputable nature.
Lorelai: Huh. Do hookers charge to let you talk to them?
Rory: Depends on what they're doing when they're talking to you.
Emily: Rory!
Rory: Sorry.
Emily: I expect that from your mother, but not you.
Rory: Just a joke.
Lorelai: Yeah, Mom, Yale is broadening her world view.

Paris: It just seems like a quaint archaism. I mean, if you're a good journalist, why make you jump through hoops and write all these tryout articles? Stale bagel.
Rory: It's a time-honored tradition. All our forebears had to do it.
Paris: If our forebears had fought it, we wouldn't be dealing with it now.

Lorelai: He actually used the word yawn?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: What a jerk.
Lane: You should punch him where it counts.
Rory: He was just doing his job.
Lorelai: He could have been a little more diplomatic.
Lane: The word yawn is insulting.
Rory: Yeah, but I was actually tired when I wrote it, so it probably wasn't my best work. I should write my articles at night first, then study.
Lorelai: I still say Yawn Guy needs a little learnin'.
Lane: Yeah, kick him where the sun don't shine.
Lorelai: You really are not good at threats.
Lane: I know, and I hate that.

Lane: Five minutes to my call with Dave. I should get home.
Lorelai: Hey, are we still mad at him?
Lane: We never were.
Lorelai: That's right. Must be Jackson. We're mad at Jackson for something he said to Sookie.
Rory: No, we're not.
Lorelai: You sure?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Must be Gypsy. We're mad at her husband?
Rory: She's not married.
Lorelai: This is gonna bug me.

Michel: I'm being discriminated against. Go, enjoy.
Lorelai: Michel can't come in?
Sookie: Nope.
Michel: I'm Rosa Parks.
Lorelai: Why can't Rosa Parks come in?
Sookie: He sneezed.
Michel: Five days ago.
Sookie: I can't take a chance with the baby.
Michel: It's a business meeting. The baby should not attend.