Lorelai: Michel, take something. What do you want?
Michel: The memory of those bikers poking each other in the buttocks Eternal Sunshine'd out of my mind.

Luke: I've only got ten minutes. What do you need?
Lorelai: Oh, the banister's loose upstairs.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: The window in room three is stuck, the barn door's off its tracks again, and ooh, hey, did you bring your jackhammer?
Luke: Did you hear the part about I've only got ten minutes?
Lorelai: Window in room three is stuck.
Luke: Let's go.
Lorelai: But, if you fix it really quickly, the banister is right on your way back down, so really you might as well take a look at that, too.

Lane: It looks like the band may be breaking up. We've hit a rut. We can't get enough gigs to get any momentum, and, I don't know. It's just not working.
Mrs. Kim: I see.
Lane: I think I may need to move back home. I realize that if you allow me to do that, then I will have to abide by any rules you feel necessary. I also anticipate the words "Seventh Day Adventist college" will come up, so I'll go shopping for some Peter Pan collared shirts tomorrow.
Mrs. Kim: No more band?
Lane: No more band.
Mrs. Kim: You are not the daughter I raised!
Lane: What?
Mrs. Kim: Kims don't give up.

Lorelai: This is the man who doesn't want you to marry Logan.
Rory: That wasn't him. It was Logan's mother and his grandfather.
Lorelai: And you really think he's okay with it? I mean, his while family looks at you and sees Anna Nicole Smith, and they tell you that to your face, but he thinks you're swell and wants to pay for the honeymoon.

Emily: I have a lunch with Sunny Kingsman today. And then I have to stop by the club at four. Some of the girls are having an impromptu birthday cocktail with Melly Rutkers. Though the last thing Melly needs is another excuse for a midday cocktail. I can stop by the cleaners on my way home if you want to have something pressed for your trip this weekend.
Richard: Uh-huh.
Emily: And then after the cleaners I thought I'd run off with Marshall, the golf instructor at the club. Do you think you could manage to get your own dinner tonight?
Richard: That'll be fine, Emily. [doorbell rings]
Emily: I wonder who that could be, first thing in the morning?
Richard: Perhaps it's Marshall, the golf instructor, unable to wait until after Melly's party to have you. I know I couldn't.
Emily: You do surprise me, Richard Gilmore.

Lorelai: Rory's quitting Yale.
Richard: What? What are you talking about?
Lorelai: [to the maid] Thank you.
Emily: What do you mean, Rory's quitting Yale? Why would you joke about something like that?
Lorelai: What makes you think I'm joking?
Emily: Because Rory would never quit Yale. This must be one of your bits. You scare us with something horrible, like Rory's quitting college, and then after we have a heart attack, you tell us you were just kidding. You're having a sex change operation.

Richard: I don't understand this. Rory's doing beautifully at school. Why would she want to leave?
Lorelai: Okay, look, I know you love Logan and the Huntzbergers, and you already have the wedding invitations printed and ready to go, but I have to tell you these are not good people.
Richard: Meaning what?
Lorelai: Logan's mother and grandfather attacked Rory at that dinner they invited her to. They told her she wasn't good enough to marry into the Huntzberger family, and she wasn't who they wanted for Logan.
Emily: Not good enough?
Lorelai: Then Mitchum Huntzberger gave Rory that internship, theoretically to make up for that evening. He let her work for a while, he built her up, and then he clobbered her. He told her she doesn't have what it takes to be a journalist, and she needs to find something else to do with her life.
Richard: What?
Lorelai: This happened on Friday night, Mom, that's why Rory wasn't at dinner. She was devastated. Then she went to find Logan at the yacht club, and the two of them stole a yacht.
Richard: No, stop it! Stop it, right now!
Lorelai: They were arrested and I had to pick Rory up from the Bridgeport police department.
Emily: Oh, no.
Lorelai: Ever since she got involved with these people, things have been bad. She's up and she's down and she should be stronger than this, I know, but she's young and she's Rory and she's come so far, she's worked so hard. I just don't want her to lose this.

Richard: What do you want us to do?
Lorelai: Well, I've already told her that just coming home and bumming around Stars Hollow is not an option, and I was thinking Friday night at dinner we could triple-team her. I bet between the three of us we could knock some sense into her. But I really need the two of you to back me up on this.
Emily: Well, of course we'll back you up. This is not happening.
Richard: How much trouble is she in with this yacht incident?
Lorelai: She's going to need a lawyer.
Richard: I'll call Charlie Newman.
Emily: Are we sure we want to wait until Friday? Should we confront her now?
Lorelai: No, I think we should give her a chance to cool off a little, maybe some time will make her more receptive.
Richard: I agree with Lorelai. Give the girl some time.
Emily: All right. Friday night it is.
Lorelai: Thank you. Just, thank you. I should get going. Dad has to get to work.
Emily: Would you like something to eat?
Lorelai: No. I just got everything I need.

Richard: Davita, could you come here please? Look at these shoes and tell me, these look like the same color to you? They're supposed to be the same color, they were bought at the same time, they've been residing in the same box. However, on closer examination, one of them seems a little faded. What do you think? What's the matter? I was just asking your opinion. Davita, stop that shaking right now. This is not a trick question. I just wanted an opinion from- Oh, for heaven's sake. Go back to your work. [doorbell rings] So I guess I'll get that.

Mrs. Kim: All of you, gather round, please. Do not stand there looking stupid! Move! Okay. You start at the First Lady of Our Sacred Heart on the fourth. The Church of the Open Hand on the sixth. Chapel Hill on the tenth. The big auditorium, not the Sunday school room.
Zach: Are you sensing a pattern here?
Gil: Well, they do have kind of a horseshoe shape. It looks pretty well thought out.
Zach: No. They're all churches.
Lane: Not churches. Theatres in churches.
Mrs. Kim: I have contacts with the entire east coast's Seventh Day Adventist entertainment circuit. Dates back to my days in an all-girl Christian tambourine band.
Zach: What?
Mrs. Kim: I have you booked solid for two months. Families in each town will take you in, feed you, put you up...