Joey: [inner monologue] Two thousand bucks is a lot of money. Boy, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me?

Ross: What's up?
Chandler: I can't figure out what to make Monica.
Ross: Oh. Why don't you make her one of your little jokes?

Chandler: Okay, it's not wrapped because I just finished it. I just finished it. But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Monica: What a great gift. Oh, is "The Way You Look Tonight" on it?
Chandler: Maybe. We'll have to listen and see.

Chandler: You know, Phoebe makes sock bunnies.
Monica: No, she doesn't. What she makes, they're sock rabbits. They're completely different.
Okay, okay. I didn't make it. I'm sorry. I totally forgot about tonight and that we're supposed to make the presents.
Chandler: No, it's okay-
Monica: No, it's not okay. It's not. I mean, you are so incredible. You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me. You know, I'm just going to make this up to you. I will.
I am going to cook you anything you want in here. And I'm going to do anything you want in there.
Chandler: Well, I did put a lot of thought into the tape.

Doctor: Can I have the next one, please? Thank you. Joey and Tony Tribbiani.
Joey: That's us.
Doctor: But this is a study for identical twins.
Joey: That's right. $2000.
Doctor: But you're not identical twins.
Joey: Damn it, Carl.

Monica: "The Way You Look Tonight" is on here. Dance with me. You are just the sweetest.
Janice: [on tape] I love the way you look every night, Chandler. That's why I made you this tape.
Happy birthday. Love, Janice.
Chandler: No, you're the sweetest.

Ross: Great class.
Instructor: Thanks, man.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I was watching. Um, hey. A couple of questions, though. You know that last move, where that woman tripped you and pinned you to the floor? What would you do next?
Instructor: Well, then she'd take her keys and try to jam them in your-
Ross: No, no. What would you do next?
Instructor: Who, me, the attacker?
Ross: Yes, that's right.
Instructor: Why?
Ross: I tried attacking two women. Did not work.
Instructor: What?
Ross: No, I mean, it's okay. They're my friends. In fact, I was married to one of them.
Instructor: Let me get this straight. You attacked your ex-wife?
Ross: Oh, no. No, no. I tried. But I couldn't. That's why I'm here. Maybe we could attack them together. So that's a no.

Chandler: I am so, so, so, so sorry.
Monica: Uh-huh.
Chandler: Oh. And I will cook anything you want in here. And do anything you want in there.
Monica: Yeah, you will. And are you kidding me?

Phoebe: I started making little sock bunnies. Oh, for crying out loud.
Rachel: Wait a minute. That is my sock.
Phoebe: Now it's your little bunny friend.

Ross: Isn't there something you can do to earn extra money? Can't you pick up an extra shift here?
Phoebe: Or, you know, I used to beg for money. Of course, it helps if you've got a little of this going on. Wow. I still have it.