‘The One with the Worst Best Man Ever’
Season 4, Episode 22 - Aired April 30, 1998
Ross regrets making Joey his best man when he reveals that a stripper might have stolen his engagement ring. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica throw a baby shower for a supremely unhappy Phoebe.
Quote from Ross
Joey: So you know who to ask to host your next bachelor party? Huh?
Ross: Joey, I'm kind of hoping this will be my last one.
Quote from Rachel
Phoebe: It's probably false labor.They said that can happen near the end. Just get the book.
Monica: Rachel, get the book.
Rachel: Okay? The book.
Monica: The Bible?
Rachel: I don't know!
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Hey, guys. All right, here's the ring.
Chandler: Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Wait, wait. So you'll be my best man twice, and I don't get to be yours at all?
Chandler: No, no. Of course, you can be my best man.
Joey: What about me? You said I could.
Chandler: I'm not even getting married. Okay, this is a question for science-fiction writers.
Quote from Joey
Ross: That's it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Joey: Yes! Shame about you, though.
Quote from Phoebe
Joey: We're having a party tomorrow night.
Rachel: Hey, hey. Are you planning on inviting us?
Joey: Nooo. Later.
Phoebe: Hey, get your ass back here, Tribbiani!
Rachel: Hormones.
Quote from Joey
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say is, how come you're having a party and we're not invited? Joey: It's Ross's bachelor party.
Monica: So?
Joey: Are you bachelors?
Monica: No.
Joey: Are you strippers?
Rachel: No.
Joey: Then you're not invited.
Rachel: Okay, fine. Then you're not invited to the party we're going to have either.
Joey: Aww. What party?
Rachel: Well, um-
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe.
Joey: Baby shower? Oh, that so doesn't sound like something I want to do. Later.
Quote from Joey
Joey: This is what I got going for the party so far, liquor-wise. Get a lot of liquor.
Quote from Ross
Joey: And, I know it's your party but I'd like to limit the number of museum geeks that are going to be there.
Ross: I'll tell you what, let's not invite any of the anthropologists. Just the dinosaur dudes.
Joey: Okay, we'll need a six-pack of Zima.
Quote from Joey
Ross: Everything so far sounds great, Joey. Just remember, keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a few guys hanging out, playing poker. No strippers or anything.
Joey: You got it.
Ross: Okay. See you later.
Chandler: Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
Joey: Well, there's going to be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers.
Chandler: He just said, "No strippers."
Joey: I chose not to hear that.