Ross: Hey, Joe, listen. If you ever have any problem with the ladies, you know I'll help you out.
Joey: [stifling laughter] That means a lot to me, man.

Ross: Can I get you anything? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay?

Ross: When she came in, I totally forgot about the camera. It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Chandler: Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape.

Chandler: I just don't get it. We didn't do anything wrong.
Monica: I know. Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
Chandler: I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke, joke, joke!
Monica: Joke, joke, blah-blah.

Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions.
Monica: What about my questions?
Chandler: The sheer volume. It was like flying with the Riddler.

Rachel: Is Ross still here?
Joey: No, Rach, he's gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Rachel: Oh, really? How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? Oh, forget it.

Rachel: Oh, there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village.

Ross: It's Rachel's tape, and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it, so end of story.
Rachel: I want to see it.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Clearly, you don't want people to see this tape. Now, I don't want people to see this tape, either. But you so badly don't want people to see it, that it makes me want to see it. Do you see?

Ross: I don't want to see it for your sake.
Rachel: I don't believe you. I think you don't want them to see you begging me.
Ross: Rachel, please?
Rachel: Oh, a little preview.

Monica: Sweetie, it's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine.
Rachel: You're kind of hurting my hand though.
Monica: I know.