‘The One with the Stripper’
Season 8, Episode 8 - Aired November 15, 2001
Phoebe joins a nervous Rachel at dinner where she plans to tell her father she's pregnant. Meanwhile, feeling bad that he didn't get to enjoy a bachelor party, Monica hires a stripper for Chandler.
Quote from Ross
Mona: So, it was really cool seeing you lecture today.
Ross: Aw, thanks. Although it kind of seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
Mona: Oh, no. No, I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and take it all in.
Ross: Yeah, a lot of my students do that.
Quote from Chandler
Mona: Hey, thanks again for showing me your semiprecious stone collection. It was amazing.
Chandler: [to Ross] My God, you must be good in bed.
Quote from Ross
Joey: So you and Mona. It's been a while. How is it going?
Ross: It's going good. I mean, we get along great. She's so...
Joey: Hot?
Ross: I was gonna say sweet, but yeah!
Quote from Joey
Chandler: She's okay with the baby?
Ross: I haven't actually told her yet. I don't wanna scare her off, you know.
Chandler: Well, you have to be honest, otherwise you may think you're going down the same path but you're really going down different ones.
Joey: I'm gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Quote from Ross
Monica: Come on, it'll be fun. It'll make me feel better.
Chandler: I appreciate it, but it's a little creepy. I'm not a bachelor anymore.
Monica: So don't think of it as a bachelor party. Think of it as a two-month anniversary present.
Ross: Sure. One year is paper, but two months is lap dance.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Please, I feel so bad. Just watch the hot woman get naked.
Chandler: Fine, but I'm only doing this for you.
Joey: Yeah!
Chandler: And Joey.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
Quote from Ross
Mona: I love your place. Where is this guy from?
Ross: That's an 18th-century Indian artifact from Calcutta.
Mona: Oh. Wow. So you're more than just dinosaurs.
Ross: So much more.
Mona: [Mona accidentally kicks the "artifact" off the table] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I am so sorry!
Ross: Forget it. It's from Pier 1.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: I can't believe there is a naked hooker in there.
Joey: Wait. Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper but she got confused about what she was supposed to do.
Chandler: Could be. Maybe. I mean, technically, she did strip. We just missed it.