Joey: Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you. You know, getting her own husband a hooker. That's pretty funny.
Chandler: That is funny. Maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone.
Joey: I'll bet Ross was in on it. He was "conveniently" busy.

Stu: So, tonight's the night of the bachelor party?
Monica: Yeah. Hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number.
Stu: No problem. So who's the party for?
Monica: My husband.
Stu: You hired your husband a hooker?
Monica: She's a stripper.
Stu: No, she's a hooker.
Monica: Is that what they call strippers some times?
Stu: When they're hookers.
Monica: Oh, my God, Stu, I can't believe you did this. Now, you're absolutely sure she's a hooker?
Stu: Either that, or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had.

Joey: Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
Chandler: Why would she do that?
Joey: Maybe she wants you to learn something. Is there anything you're really bad at, you know, sexually?
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever.

Stripper: What's taking you boys so long?
Joey: In a minute!
Chandler: In a minute? What's gonna happen in a minute?

Monica: She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a H- Hi, we spoke on the phone.

Rachel: Yes, Ross and I used to date. And yes, we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Mona: How can I be sure of that?
Rachel: Because we drove each other crazy. I mean, he was possessive. He was jealous. He could never just let the little things go.
Ross: Trying to date this woman.
Rachel: Right. But none of that compared to how kind and gentle and thoughtful he is.
Ross: You probably shouldn't touch me.

Monica: Come on, it'll be fun. It'll make me feel so much better. I got you party hats, and porn.
Chandler: Throw in my father making out with the magician, and it's just like my 14th birthday all over again.

Joey: No, I miss hanging out with you.
Chandler: Well, we still hang out.
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. You know, now it's like things are ... different.
Chandler: Well, you know, things are different. I'm married now.
Joey: Yeah, sure. And, hey, don't get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys. I just miss hanging out, just us, you know?
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what, from now on, we'll make time to hang out with each other.
Joey: You got it.