‘The One with the Stripper’
Season 8, Episode 8 - Aired November 15, 2001
Phoebe joins a nervous Rachel at dinner where she plans to tell her father she's pregnant. Meanwhile, feeling bad that he didn't get to enjoy a bachelor party, Monica hires a stripper for Chandler.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Mona, just hear me out. First of all, I am so sorry about my father yelling at you. But I heard that you totally held your own. You're gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Quote from Rachel
Mona: I just don't want to get in the middle of something so complicated.
Rachel: I get it. But, Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean, we all have our baggage. You must too. Why else would you still be single? I'm so gonna leave right now.
Quote from Ross
Mona: Why didn't you just tell me about all this?
Ross: Because, what's going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
Mona: Well, you still should have told me.
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that heard it from Rachel's father.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: I swear I didn't know she was a hooker. I mean- Did you let her smoke in her?
Chandler: Her ass-print is still on your grandmother's quilt. Do you really want to talk about smoking?
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: I panicked. I just didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour.
Phoebe: It's Lafite. The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man.
Phoebe: He's right, though. The '74 is absolute piss.
Quote from Joey
Joey: So, you nervous about getting married?
Chandler: What are you doing?
Joey: Look, let's pretend it's a real bachelor party, okay. You know, before your wedding. It'll be more fun.
Chandler: All right. I can't believe tomorrow's the big day.
Joey: How's it feel knowing you're never gonna be with another woman again. Knowing you're going to have to wake up to the same face every day until you finally have the sweet release of death.
Chandler: You're right. This is more fun.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, who is that guy? I think I know him.
Monica: No, you don't.
Rachel: No, you don't.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. Monica, he's the stripper from your bachelorette party.
Chandler: Her what?
Phoebe: Your secret bachelorette party.
Chandler: You had a bachelorette party?
Phoebe: She untied his G-string with her teeth. Somebody stop me!
Quote from Joey
Joey: This is so unfair. The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party but, oh, I wasn't allowed. All we got was a stupid steak dinner.
Chandler: You went home with the waitress.
Joey: Yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Quote from Monica
Chandler: I can't believe you didn't tell me. You know the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty.
Monica: Ugh. I knew giving you that book was going to come back and bite me in the ass.