Monica: Is he gonna introduce us?
Chandler: I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Charlie: By the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: Oh. I wrote that in one night.
Monica: Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.

Rachel: Listen, you know what, I'm not feeling really well and I don't think I'm gonna get to go to the play.
Ross: Really? What's wrong?
Rachel: I don't know. I think it's kind of serious. You know, I was watching this thing on TV this morning about Newcastle disease, and I think I might have it.
Charlie: Newcastle disease is a secretion-borne virus that only affects chickens and other poultry.
Rachel: Okay, who's this?
Ross: I'm sorry. Rachel, this is Charlie Wheeler. She's a colleague.
Rachel: Oh, hi. Well, I would shake your hand but I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease.

Ross: Oh, hey, you guys, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Charlie: Hi.
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is going to be joining my department.
Phoebe: Oh. You're a paleontologist too?
Charlie: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Now, what do you think of Renyard's new theory of species variegation in segmented arthropods?
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas. Oh, I'm sorry. I have to take this. Excuse me.
Ross: Renyard's theory of species variegation?
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table. I memorized the title to freak you out.

Woman on Stage: I bet you're thinking that now would be a great time for an intermission, huh?
Chandler: Oh, yes. God, yes.
Woman on Stage: Well, you're not gonna get one. Because in life, there are no intermissions, people. Now, Chapter 7: Divorce is a Four-Letter Word. How could he leave me?!
Chandler: I don't know. You seem lovely.

Joey: Let me see if I approve of any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug. This guy's Canadian. Oh, and this guy is in a cult, okay? It'll cost you $5000 to get to level three, and I don't feel any different.

Ross: You guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.
Chandler: Yes, but, Ross, you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.

Ross: Well, we should probably get going. We've got a lot of ground to cover.
Charlie: Isn't another professor supposed to come with us?
Ross: I don't think so.
Charlie: I'm pretty sure. A Professor Spafford from Cornell?
Ross: Well, he's obviously late, and the rule in my class is: If you can't come on time, then don't come at all. An option that many of my students use.

Rachel: You are having a party tonight?
Joey: I'm kind of having a thing for the "Days of Our Lives" people.
Rachel: And you weren't gonna tell us? How did you think you'd get away with that?
Joey: I do it every year.
Rachel: You do that every year?
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that. God, I'm stupider than Jan Rogers!

Charlie: Let's ditch him.
Ross: What?
Charlie: Come on. While he's still in the bathroom. I am begging you.
Ross: Okay. Okay, fine, but I just have one question for you. When we exit, should we walk or run or prance or stroll?
Charlie: Stop it! Stop it! He talks slow, but he might pee fast. Okay, let's move.

Rachel: Okay. Joey is having a secret "Days of Our Lives" party up on the roof. And he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you.
Monica: What?!
Ross: What? What's going on?
Monica: Joey is having a secret "Days of Our Lives" party up on the roof.
Rachel: And- And he didn't want you guys to know about it, but I came over here to tell you.
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Rachel: All right, professor or detective?