Monica: Excuse me, sir. Would it help if I weren't wearing underpants?
Ross: Monica! Would it?

Ross: When the music starts up, I was thinking about maybe going into the robot.
Monica: Ross? I think we should stick to the routine. We don't want to look stupid.

Phoebe: Hey, look who I found.
Chandler: Oh, hi, guys.
Phoebe: You know, birds have a very good sense of direction, so I thought maybe they could help us find the presents.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes. Any ideas? No? Didn't think so.

Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is, like, stretching all over the place. You know, everywhere I look she's like... [Joey poorly demonstrates some stretches]
Chandler: I can see why that's hard to resist.
Joey: I like her so much.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, that she doesn't feel the same.
Joey: I know. And she's so sweet. I just want to feed her grapes and brush her hair.
Chandler: You are aware that she's not a monkey, right?

Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Chandler: You know when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you don't do that every year do you?
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: You don't, like, go into the back of my closet and look under my gym bag or anything?
Rachel: No. Never do that.
[Phoebe and Rachel start laughing]
Chandler: Because that's where Joey gave me stuff to store that I've never seen in my life. Okay, that did not just happen.

Chandler: Well, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage. I wonder what I could get Monica that's as good as garbage.
Phoebe: Hmm. How about my "az"?

Ross: Hey, I know what'll get us up on a platform.
Monica: What?
Ross: The routine!
Monica: Ross, we haven't done the routine since middle school.
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine he'll want to build us our own platform.
Monica: Was it really that good?
Ross: We got honorable mention in the brother/sister dance category.

Phoebe: Ooh, ooh. We have a live one.
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag.
Phoebe: Yeah. Ooh, who's it for?
Rachel: "Dear Losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Phoebe: Uh-oh. She may be onto us.

Ross: Wow. Monica's letting other people help decorate her tree? Did someone get her drunk again, or...?
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. It's about being with the people that you love.
Phoebe: That is nice. And we're done. Ta-da.
Chandler: I don't know what it is. It just doesn't quite feel like Christmas to me.
Monica: Oh, yeah.
[Monica rotates the Christmas tree so only the side she decorated is visible]
Chandler: See, now it feels like Christmas.

Ross: I am so over Janine. Yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she's like old news.
Janine: Hey, guys.
Ross: [enthusiastically] Janine!