‘The One with the Red Sweater’
Season 8, Episode 2 - Aired October 4, 2001
After Rachel refuses to reveal the father of her baby until she's told him, Phoebe and Joey do some detective work. Meanwhile, Ross helps Chandler to recreate the pictures from the wedding after he loses the disposable cameras, and Monica opens all their presents without Chandler.
Quote from Monica
Joey: I can't believe it. Rachel's pregnant? Who's the father?
Phoebe: We don't know.
Joey: I wonder if it's that dude.
Monica: There's a dude?
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: Well, who is it?
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel. I didn't see who it was, but- [Joey walks out of the apartment]
Phoebe: Was that story over?
[Monica and Phoebe go into the hallway as Joey returns from his apartment]
Joey: The guy left this.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. I know who the father is.
[Phoebe walks back into the apartment]
Monica: People have got to finish their stories!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you could tell him. Go!
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blond girl with an ass that won't quit.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I can't say that didn't hurt. But I'll take you back, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Yeah, Pheebs, about that, l-
Phoebe: Oh, a Salami Buddy.
Joey: There you go.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Hey, how you doing?
Tag: Good. Good. Long time no see. I like your sweater.
Ross: Oh. Hey. Right back at you.
Tag: It's crazy about Rachel, huh?
Ross: Yeah. Well, she's one crazy lady.
Tag: So whose is it?
Ross: I don't know, some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later. He is so weird.
Quote from Rachel
Chandler: Okay, Ross has the cameras. Is he checked out yet?
Rachel: Are you joking? Checkout is not till noon. And he has a good 11 minutes left.
Chandler: So?
Monica: So Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he has to.
Rachel: Yeah, one time when we were dating, we got a late checkout, he got so excited, it was the best sex we ever had. Until, you know, he screamed out "Radisson" at the end.
Quote from Monica
Phoebe: Are you gonna open the presents without Chandler?
Monica: No. But they're calling out to me. I mean, this little guy even crawled into my lap.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Chandler wouldn't mind if I opened one present. What do you think it is?
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it, you see yourself as an old woman.
Monica: A tiny salt shaker.
Phoebe: Oh, my God, for tiny salt.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Chandler?
Chandler: Did you find the cameras?
Ross: No. Did you?
Chandler: Yes, that's why I'm under the table. Celebrating.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Here's a thought. This is the same ballroom. There's a band. There'll be dressed-up people.
Chandler: Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away?
Quote from Chandler
Ross: I'm just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Chandler: Marriage advice? Really?