Chandler: Why don't you go up on stage, I'll get a picture of you doing the speech.
Ross: Okay. [glasses klinking] Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk? Your car is about to be towed.
Man: That's my car.
Ross: A '95 LeSabre?
Man: Yes.
Ross: A green LeSabre?
Man: Yes.
Ross: I'm sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre.
Man: Yes, green-blue.
Ross: Well, go. Go move it!

Chandler: Hi, we're checking out of the bridal suite.
Monica: That's right. I'm no longer a bride. I'll never be a bride again. Now I'm just someone's wife.
Chandler: And I'm the happiest guy in the world.

Chandler: Oh, come on, honey. We still have so much to look forward to.
Monica: Yeah, right.
Chandler: We've got the honeymoon.
Monica: That's not till Thursday.
Chandler: We've got the wedding pictures.
Monica: Those won't be ready for weeks.
Chandler: Not the disposable cameras from the tables.
Monica: That's true. I knew I married you for a reason.

Chandler: Soaps, shampoos. Are you really taking all this stuff?
Ross: Why not? It's built in the price of the room.
Chandler: Yeah, but you don't need- What is this?
Ross: Thread.
Chandler: Score!

Chandler: Where are the disposable cameras?
Ross: What disposable cameras?
Chandler: The cameras. Remember last night I asked you to take them?
Ross: No, you didn't.
Chandler: Yes, remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and said-
Ross: Oh. Yeah, you came up to me and asked if I could do you favor. Then my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why is it called a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" [Chandler laughs] Yeah, then you did that.

Rachel: I promise that you only have to be pregnant for a few more hours. I'm going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
Rachel: Ew! No.
Phoebe: What? I think he's cute.
Rachel: Well, then you have his baby.
Phoebe: Believe me, I'm trying.

Monica: Wow, it's so weird. You're gonna tell this guy today, and he has no idea what's going to happen.
Phoebe: Yeah, you're just going to knock on his door and change his life forever. You're like Ed McMahon, except without the big check. Or the raw sexual magnetism.

Phoebe: Pretty big? It's huge. God, this guy doesn't have a clue. He's just walking down the street thinking: "I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock." Then, bam! He's a father, everything's different.
Rachel: Well, it's only different if he wants it to be. I mean, I'm not going to ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay, then he still has this huge decision to make. Now he's walking around thinking: "Do I want to be a dad?" Then, bam!
Monica: What was that "bam"?
Phoebe: I don't know. He's hit by a bus.

Chandler: Well this is great. You know, those cameras were the only thing that was going to cheer Monica up today. She's really depressed.
Ross: You guys just got married. Why is she so depressed?
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question.

Phoebe: Did you do it yet?
Rachel: Not yet.
Phoebe: Then what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? Is it Gunther?
Rachel: Phoebe, it's not Gunther.
Phoebe: Thank God. Because that hair on a baby?