Monica: Okay, the reason I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I've doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Rachel: Oh, my God. This is it.
Phoebe: Oh.
Rachel: I really hope it's you.
Phoebe: I hope it's you.
Rachel: Me too.

Monica: First of all, I love you both so much and you're both so important to me.
Rachel: Okay, blah, blah, blah- Who is it?
Monica: Well, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade off being maid of honor for each other. Like, hypothetically,if Phoebe were mine-
Phoebe: Yes! Oh.
Rachel: Hypothetically.
Phoebe: Still.
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor, Rachel would be Phoebe's, I would be Rachel's. That way we would all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: That's a pretty good idea.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'll do that. So, who's yours?
Monica: Well, that's the best part. You guys get to decide.
Phoebe: Why is that the best part?
Monica: Because then I don't have to.

Ross: Dude, you didn't say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Chandler: Yeah, I just got plans.
Ross: Well, John McClane had plans.
Chandler: All right. You see, the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody "bitch."
Joey: What are you talking about, bitch?

Phoebe: Hey, Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah?
Phoebe: When I get married, will you be my maid of honor?
Rachel: Really? Oh, my God, Phoebe. I mean I'm just- Wait a minute. If I'm your maid of honor, that means that you are Monica's.
Phoebe: Oh. Well, if that's what you want.

Rachel: I'm gonna marry someone good, you know.
Phoebe: Oh, I know.
Rachel: Better than Chandler.
Phoebe: Pfft.

Chandler: We went out for two summers and then I broke up with her.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Well, she came back the third summer and she'd gotten really fa-
Monica: Fat?
Chandler: I did not say fat. I said fa-a-a-a.

Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah. But it was a really long time ago. Does she still feel bad?
Monica: Apparently she does.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say: "Elephants never forget." Seriously, good luck marrying me.

Rachel: You know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. [Ross enters] Hi! Ross, sweetie.
Phoebe: Hey there, handsome thing.
Ross: Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Giorgio.

Joey: Hey, Ross. Look, I think we need to talk about before.
Ross: No. No, we don't.
Joey: Yes, we do. Now, look. That was the best nap I ever had.
Ross: I don't know what you're talking about.
Joey: Come on, admit it. That was the best nap you ever had.
Ross: I've had better.
Joey: Okay. When?
Ross: All right. All right. It was the best nap ever! I said it, okay? But it's over, Joey!
Joey: I want to do it again.
Ross: We can't do it again.
Joey: Why not?
Ross: Because it's weird!
Joey: Fine. You want something to drink?
Ross: Sure. What do you got?
Joey: Warm milk and Excedrin PM.

Rachel: Wait a minute. She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony.
Phoebe: Hey, you want a little taste of Pheebs?