Joey: Hey, what if you found out that your mom wasn't really your mom. And your new mom turned out to be really hot? [chuckles] Oh, man, huh?
Chandler: But it- It's your mom.
Joey: No, I'm talking about your mom.

Rachel: Oh, and by the way, those little spelling tips will come in handy when you're at home on Saturday playing Scrabble with Monica.
Monica: Hey.
Rachel: Sorry.

Ross: I've got to go break up with Bonnie.
Rachel: Here? Now?
Ross: Well, I can't stay here all night. And if I go in there, she'll going to want to do stuff.
Rachel: Can't you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah, faking sleep doesn't work either. I can't tell you how many mornings I've woken up many times with her-Why am I telling you that?
Rachel: I don't know.

Phoebe Abbott: Anyhow, somehow I got pregnant and I was scared. I was stupid and selfish. I was 18 years old. You remember what it was like to be 18?
Phoebe: Yeah. Let's see, my mom had killed herself and my dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.

Monica: Shoot. We're out of soda.
Chandler: I'll go out and get you some.
Monica: Really?
Chandler: No, because I'm not your boyfriend.

Chandler: Hey, Pheebs, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Well, my mom's friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth mom.
Chandler: I found a dried-up seahorse.

Rachel: Was it awful?
Ross: Well, it was long. I didn't realize how late it was till I saw the five o'clock shadow on her head.

Monica: Pass the cheese, please. Oh my God, you can't even look at me, can you?
Joey: No.

Chandler: Hey, it's Phoebe. We can talk to Phoebe.
Phoebe: No, I'm too depressed to talk.
Chandler: I'll give you $1000 to talk to us.