Rachel: Oh, wow. Looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here.

Phoebe: I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral?

Chandler: Pheebs? Skull?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, it's my mom's.
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not my mom. It belonged to my mom. Yeah, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And you can put candy in it.

Ross: So, Ben, you know what holiday is coming up?
Ben: Christmas.
Ross: Yeah, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Ben: Christmas Eve.
Ross: Yes, but also ... Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly.
Ross: Right, but on Hanukkah- Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Ben: [singing] Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells-
Ross: Okay, that's right. Yes, but on Hanukkah, we sing: Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. I made you out of clay.
Ben: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer-
Ross: Okay, it's not a contest.

Monica: It's easy. Just keep it casual. Shake his hand and give him the money.
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
Monica: I don't know.
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
Monica: We'd be eating our soup right now.
Chandler: Mustached bastard.

Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume so I borrowed one from a guy at work.
Ross: Thank you, but you gotta leave.
Chandler: Why?
Ross: Because I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah and you're wrecking it.
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowlful of jelly.

Rachel: So should we start looking for a new place?
Phoebe: You know, I'm sensing that my grandmother would not be comfortable with that.
Rachel: Oh, yeah? Starting to feel her again there, are we?
Phoebe: A little bit.
Rachel: Pheebs, is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
Phoebe: You heard it too? You have the gift.

Chandler: I just got reservations at Michelle's and tickets to The Music Man to celebrate our first holiday as a betrothed couple.
Monica: "Betrothed."
Chandler: Betrothed couple.

[Joey emerges from the bathroom]
Joey: Hey.
Rachel: Did you know he was in there?
Monica: No.
Chandler: How long have we been home?
Monica: About half an hour.
Chandler: Lovely.

Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking. When we get married, are you going to change your last name to "Bing"?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Why not?
Monica: Bing's weird.