Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced men's club.
Chandler: Dude, that's so sad.
Ross: I could put a basketball court in the back.
Chandler: Could I play?

Rachel: Oh, no sit-ups today, Tag?
Tag: I just did them.
Rachel: Well, drop and give me 10 more.
Tag: What?
Rachel: I had a drink with lunch.

Photographer: Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Chandler: Okay.
Photographer: I'm sorry, is the seat uncomfortable?
Chandler: No, I am.

Monica: Chandler, what is the matter with your face? I mean, this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married", not "Local woman saves drowning moron."

Monica: Hey, don't laugh at him. He's my drowning moron.

Ross: I like this one. It seems to say, "I love you and that's why I have to kill you."

Monica: They can't all be bad. Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Oh, there it is.
Chandler: Oh, my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?

Phoebe: Look, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Phoebe: Like she's really mean, and she's overly critical and- She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you.
Ross: Okay.
Phoebe: And she uses sex as a weapon.
Ross: Fine. Thank you for warning me. At breakfast, I'll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.

Joey: Okay, first of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. All right, so here's what I do.
I look down, look down, keep looking down. Then I look up. See? All right, now you try. Look down. You're looking down. Keep looking down.
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
Joey: I had a donut.

Rachel: So, I heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Joey: Yeah, that guy's all right.
Rachel: Yeah, and you had fun teaching him how to be all "Joey."
Joey: What?
Rachel: You know, all the women.
Joey: Hey, you can't teach someone to be good with women. That's why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Chandler: I'm right here.