Rachel: Put that box down. We are not going anywhere. This is my apartment and I like it. This is a girl's apartment. That is a boy's apartment. It's dirty and it smells. This is pretty. It's so pretty. And look, it's purple. And I'm telling you, you with your steady hand, I am not moving. And now I have got the steady hand. [Rachel holds out a shaky hand]

Ross: Okay, a coin toss to decide who goes first. [Ross flips a coin, everyone watches it land] Okay, somebody call it this time!

Phoebe: It turns out the odds are, like, really sucky. And this is Frank and Alice's, like, only shot. They are, like, literally putting all their eggs in my basket.

Phoebe: Okay, I'm going to go to the doctor and see if I'm ready to have Frank and Alice's embryo transferred into my uterus.
Ross: How will they know if you're ready?
Phoebe: Oh, they'll just see if my endometrial layer is thick.
Chandler: I can check that for you.
Phoebe: Okay, everyone. Think "thick."

Monica: I just can't believe you think you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Chandler: Well, we do. You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.
Joey: Yeah, what's that about?
Chandler: And you. Ross, if you check Rachel's bag I believe you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: You're good. [eats a cookie] These are not.

Monica: That does not mean you know us better. I want a rematch.
Rachel: Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery questions. Real, personal questions.
Monica: Yeah. And the winner gets $100.
Joey: Serious?
Monica: Are you scared?
Joey: No. Who makes up the questions?
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: Oh, sure, Ross will do it. It's not like he has a job or a child or a life of his own.
Rachel: Fine. We'll ask Phoebe.
Ross: No, I want to play.

Doctor: It'll take a little while to prepare the embryos.
Phoebe: Embryos? As in more than one?
Doctor: Five, actually.
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth in a hospital or a big box under the stairs?

Ross: Gentlemen, your pick.
Joey: "It's all Relative."
Ross: "Monica and I had a grandmother who died. You both went to her funeral. Name that grandmother."
Joey: Nana?
Chandler: She has a real name.
Joey: Althea!
Chandler: Althea? What are you doing?
Joey: I took a shot.
Chandler: You're shooting with Althea?
Ross: Althea is correct.
Chandler: Nice shooting!

Phoebe: Hello, teeny embryos. I'm Phoebe Buffay. Hi. I'm hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. We're doing this for Frank and Alice who you know, you've been there. You know, they want you so much. So when you guys get in there, really grab on. And, okay, I promise that I'll keep you safe and warm until you're ready to have them take you home. Next time you see me, if I'm screaming, don't worry. That's what's supposed to happen.

Ross: All right. We have a tie. Luckily, I've prepared for such an event. The lightning round! Thirty seconds. All the questions you can answer.
Monica: You guys are dead. I am so good at lightning rounds.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds, all right? We're going to destroy you.
Monica: Want to bet?
Chandler: Oh, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far.