‘The One with the Dirty Girl’
Season 4, Episode 6 - Aired November 6, 1997
Ross starts dating a new woman and is shocked by the state of her apartment. When Monica and Phoebe cater a funeral, the widow tries to avoid paying them. After Chandler finds the perfect birthday present for Kathy, he pushes Joey to get her a better gift.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: What he means by that is, while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives.
Joey: Sure it is. She needs a pen for work. She's writing. She turns it over. "Whoa, it's time for my date with Joey."
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: You know what we should all do? Go see a musical.
Chandler: Sure.
Rachel: You know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony Award winner. I mean, that one's gotta be good. Do you happen to know the name of that one?
Chandler: I don't know. Grease? Rent?
Rachel: Yes! Rent!
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Rachel: What? Oh, I'm sorry. I can't, I'm busy.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid. I don't know who she thinks she is. I was talking to the florist. She didn't get paid either. Or the limo driver. Or the priest, and he can get the dead guy damned for all eternity.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Look, I've had a lot of jobs. And there are some people who always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "That massage wasn't long enough" or "l don't know any of those songs" or "These sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, what are you guys looking at?
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Phoebe: Yeah, come to Papa.
Quote from Monica
Ross: I know.
Monica: Probably the only time I'll ever say this but did you see the ass on her?
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: What did you? When did you? How did you? How did you get a girl like that?
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Do you guys have any wrapping paper?
Phoebe: Ooh, is it for my birthday present?
Chandler: Pheebs, it was your birthday like months ago.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special and it just hadn't come yet.
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Look. You have been playing around with this catering for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer?
Monica: I don't know.
Phoebe: There you go! That's the spirit. Now if you need money, I will lend you money. Just get moving.
Monica: Really? Because I'd need like $500 for all the food and supplies and stuff.
Phoebe: Okay, it's worth it if it'll get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
Monica: Well you aren't working either.
Phoebe: Yes, but I'm doing this.
Quote from Chandler
Kathy: Can I borrow your apartment keys?
Joey: Why? [Kathy whispers in Joey's ear] You can pee here.
Kathy: Yes, I can, of course.
Chandler: It's okay. The duck's using our bathroom anyway.