‘The One with the Candy Hearts’
Season 1, Episode 14 - Aired February 9, 1995
Ross struggles to move on from his failed marriage with Carol when he goes on his first date in nine years. Meanwhile, Chandler gets more than he bargained for when he's set up on a blind date by Joey, while the girls spend Valentine's day burning momentos from their past relationships.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you need to get back in the game. The Rachel thing isn't happening, your ex-wife's a lesbian. I don't think we need a third.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Ooh, you know my friend who shaves her head? She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle you can do a cleansing ritual.
Rachel: Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Quote from Janice
Janice: This is so much fun! This is like a reunion in the hall! [laughs]
Quote from Ross
Ross: I'm just saying, if dogs do experience jet lag because of the whole seven dog years to one human year thing, that when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
Quote from Ross
Kristen: Who are they?
Ross: The blond is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her close, personal friend.
Kristen: You mean they're lovers?
Ross: lf you want to put a label on it.
Quote from Ross
Kristen: Anything else I should know?
Ross: Nope. Nope. That's it. Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Oh, look, I have a picture of Scotty Jared naked.
Rachel: Let me see. He's wearing a sweater.
Monica: No.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Go with the egg, my friend.
Joey: Go, go, go! Think it'll work?
Chandler: No way. It's suicide. The man's got an egg.
Quote from Joey
Joey: She says she wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is! But I definitely want to be a part of it.