Phoebe: [playing her guitar and singing] They're tiny and chubby, And so sweet to touch, But soon they'll grow up, And resent you so much, Now they're yelling at you, And you don 't know why, And you cry and you cry and you cry, And you cry and you cry, And you cry- Thanks, Ross.
Ross: Yeah, I'm paying you to stop, okay?

Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors anyway? Is, like, your father a doctor?
Rachel: Yeah. Why?
Chandler: No reason.

Susan: What do you see?
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is, in fact, a dark vent.

Nurse: All right, all right. There's a too many people in this room. There's about to be one more.
So anybody who is not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go.
Ross: Bye-bye.
Joey: Good luck, you guys.
Rachel: Good luck.
Chandler: Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Nurse: Out!

Susan: They're every 4 minutes, lasting 55 seconds.
Ross: 59 seconds. Quartz. Ha.
Susan: Swiss quartz. Ha ha.

Monica: I want a baby.
Chandler: Not today, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.

Monica: Get up. Let's get some coffee.
Chandler: Mmm, okay, because we never do that.

Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Carol: You're gonna kill me.

Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push him out, push him out. Harder, harder. Push him out, push him out. Way out. Let's get that ball and really move. Let's get I was just- Yeah, okay. Push, push, push.

Chandler: Somebody wanna help me? Trying to rip out my heart. That's great. Anybody seen a nipple?