Phoebe: This is so great.
Ross: Do you wanna explain that?
Phoebe: I mean, because when I was growing up, you know, my dad left and my mother died and my stepfather went to jail. So, I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has, like, three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most and it's not even born yet. It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. I'm sorry. You were fighting.

Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: When?
Chandler: Okay, I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. No, I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no-
Monica: No, no, what is it? Seriously, is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh-
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack.

Ross: This is so your fault.
Susan: How is this my fault?
Ross: Carol never threw me out of a room before you.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Ross: Are you trying to be clever?