Ross: Remember what we talked about. You got to be strong. Now one more time. Don't you want a washboard stomach and rock-hard pecs?
Chandler: No, I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts.

Phoebe: You guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him.
Rachel: Where?
Phoebe: On the tushy.
Ross: And that's not against your oath?
Phoebe: No, I know. I'm sorry, but the moment I touch him I want to throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.

Phoebe: Hey, new wallet?
Chandler: Well, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say "cool" anymore.

Monica: Is this a gym card?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last 1200 times.

Rachel: Oh, my hero. What happened?
Joey: Well, I went down there and told him no one treats my friends like that. And he better come up here and apologize. See you later.
Monica: Wait a minute. What did he say?
Joey: Uh, he said he wasn't going to apologize because you guys are living here illegally. So instead, what he's going to do, is have you evicted. See you later.

Monica: You go down there, and you suck up to him. You suck like you've never sucked before.

Rick: Did you just bite me?
Phoebe: No!

Mr. Treeger: Can you be my dancing partner?
Joey: That's not prison lingo, is it?

Rachel: Why doesn't he practice with a girl?
Joey: He's too shy. He's doesn't think he's good enough to dance with girls yet.
Rachel: Yeah, right. He almost danced me right down that garbage chute.
Monica: Would you let it go already? You're fine.
[Rachel tearing up]

Rachel: So did you quit?
Chandler: No. I almost did. Couldn't leave Ross there without a spotter.