Monica: Next time, try to distract yourself.
Joey: Yeah. Like when I'm doing something exciting and I don't want to get too excited. I just try and think of other things. Like sandwiches and baseball and ... Chandler.
Chandler: Thank you, Joey.
Joey: Oh, no, thank you.

Ross: So why don't you quit?
Chandler: You don't think I've tried? You think I like having $50 a month taken out of my bank account every month? They make you go all the way down there. They use all these phrases and peppiness to confuse you. And then they bring out Maria.
Ross: Who is Maria?
Chandler: Oh, Maria! You can't say no to her. She's like this lycra, spandex-covered, gym treat.
Ross: Do you need me to go with you and hold your hand?
Chandler: No.
Ross: So you're strong enough to face her alone?
Chandler: Oh, no. You'll have to come.

Joey: You made my friend Rachel cry. So you'll go and apologize to her unless you want me to call the landlord.
Mr. Treeger: And tell him what?
Joey: Maybe you haven't heard of "not making girls cry."
Mr. Treeger: Maybe you haven't heard of the Rent Stabilization Act of 1968.
Joey: I have actually not heard of that.

Phoebe: Somebody tell me I don't have to work today.
Monica: Why, what's the matter?
Phoebe: My first massage is this incredibly gorgeous guy. Every time I see him, I want to do things to him I can't charge for.
Monica: So do them for free.
Phoebe: Oh, no. It is forbidden. Mrs. Potter fires people for messing around with clients. And it's against my oath as a masseuse.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take one. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and always be prepared. That one's actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.

Chandler: Why don't you just give him to someone else?
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. I'm a professional.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
Monica: Oh, and you got a pedicure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Chandler: Because that's the only part he can see when he's on the table.
Monica: You're going to do some feet flirting!
Phoebe: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ross: Then how do you explain the toe ring?
Phoebe: Because it's Arabian Princess Day at work, okay? Leave me alone!

Phoebe: Okay. Baseball. Rick playing baseball. He slides into second. Maybe even his pants come down a little. No, no, Okay, sandwiches. Sandwiches. Okay, on a plate. Maybe Rick's pants come down a little. No, no. Chandler. Okay, Chandler. Ooh, that's working! ... Chandler's knees. Chandler's ankles. Chandler's ankle hair.

Monica: So you didn't leave the bank?
Ross: And somehow we ended up with a joint checking account.
Rachel: What are you ever going to use that for?
Chandler: To pay for the gym.

Chandler: I want to quit the gym!
Dave: Now, can you honestly tell me that your 100% satisfied with your body?
Chandler: Yes! Yes! Most of the time. I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have. [smiles]
Dave: Well, we were voted "Best-equipped Gym in New York" two years running. Do you really want to give that up?
Chandler: Yes, I hate it here! Everything that you have in here is very heavy!
Dave: [answers phone] Yeah. Really? Okay. [hangs up] You don't want to make your friend work out alone, do you?
Chandler: What friend?
Dave: Your friend Ross just joined.

Rachel: What was that?
Joey: What?
Rachel: You just did a little dancy thing.
Joey: No, I didn't.
Monica: Yes, you did. You did a little hop.
Rachel: You are so enjoying this.
Joey: No, I'm not. And it wasn't a hop. It was a pas de bourree.

Monica: Joey, don't. I think it's best we just forget about it.
Rachel: That's easy for you to say. You weren't almost just killed.