Charlie: Ross Geller, Benjamin Hobart.
Ross: It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work. I mean, that Nobel Prize. Whoo! I mean, I have to tell you that you're one of the reasons I got into the field.
Benjamin Hobart: Well, likewise. Actually not likewise. I'd never heard of you until this morning. But it's nice to be nice.

Rachel: Who's Gladys?
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made. You know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Rachel: Ah. And Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous.
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too.
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But you already gave that to Monica, so-
Monica: No. You know, I would give her up for you.
Rachel: No, I couldn't let you do that.
Monica: No, but I want to.
Rachel: But I don't want you to.
Monica: But I insist.
Rachel: But I insist harder.
Phoebe: Girls. Girls. Stop. Okay, we'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's. Tails, she's Monica's. Tails. Monica, she's yours.
Monica: No, that landed in your food.
Rachel: No, no, that's okay. You won fair and square. I'm so sad.

Benjamin Hobart: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists. The ultimate decision will be based on the answers you give to the questions I ask here. We're going to start with Dr. Li. You claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this?
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Benjamin Hobart: Interesting.
Ross: I guess.
Benjamin Hobart: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some fieldwork. Where might that take place?
Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.
Benjamin Hobart: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Ross: What? l-
Benjamin Hobart: Care to venture a guess?
Ross: May 12?
Benjamin Hobart: That's not even kind of close.

Benjamin Hobart: Dr. Li, how many graduate students will you be needing?
Dr. Li: Half a dozen.
Benjamin Hobart: I see. And Dr. Biely?
Dr. Biely: Three for excavation, and two for analysis.
Benjamin Hobart: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British Invasion band?
Ross: What? I need six graduate students.
Benjamin Hobart: No, I'm sorry. We were looking for "Baby It's You." "Baby It's You."

Joey: Are you still here?
Chandler: Yes. And I have to say I am not just hurt, I'm insulted. When I tell somebody I did something-
Joey: Okay, hold on, let me just stop you right there, okay? First, you lied. Right? Then you lied about lying, okay? Then you lied about lying about lying, okay? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying- Stop lying.

Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Joey: You wanna know why? You wanna know why?
Rachel: Well, this is going well.
Joey: Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape. If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. All right, now, remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan.
Advertisement Narrator: Ichiban. Ichiban, lipstick for men.
Joey: Ichiban, lipstick for men. Saikou!
Joey: And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape.
Chandler: He really is a chameleon.

Rachel: Joey, what is this thing doing here?
Joey: I got her from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this.
Joey: But it's an original Buffay.

Ross: Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
Charlie: Did you get the grant?
Ross: No, I didn't. And you wanna know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Charlie: What?
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant because I wouldn't give you up.
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review: "Who was the voice of Underdog?"
Charlie: I'm sure he was just joking.
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him. I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Charlie: Seriously?
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. No, he did ask me one: "How do you spell Boscodictiasaur?"
Charlie: Well, if it's like the Lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O-
Ross: Damn it.

Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that. I want you to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth.
Charlie: Benji?
Benjamin Hobart: All right, it's true. I behaved horribly, but it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Ross: Too little, too late, Benji.
Charlie: I can't believe this.
Benjamin Hobart: I never should've broken up with you. I think about you all the time. Do you ever still think about me?
Ross: No.
Charlie: Yes.
Ross: What?
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so romantic.
Ross: Or?
Benjamin Hobart: I know I may be way out of bounds here but is there any chance you would take me back?
Charlie: Maybe.
Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
Charlie: Oh, God. I am so sorry, but I mean, there's so much history between us, you know?
Benjamin Hobart: [to Ross] I'm sorry too. [to Charlie] I love you.
Charlie: I love you too.
Ross: Okay, that's it, we are seeing other people.

Ross: Pheebs, what's wrong?
Phoebe: I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring.