Ross: No, no. You can not go to dinner with him.
Rachel: What? You don't want me to get a job?
Ross: Oh, yeah. I'm sure he is gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his "sex-retary". I am serious. I just don't trust that guy. Oay?
Rachel: Ross, you know what? Let's talk about it later. Here comes security.

Mike: After you, Mrs. Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Thank you, Mr. Bag.

Rachel: Oh, Ross, come on. He is happily married. His wife just had twins.
Ross: Should we send something?

Chandler: How did the job stuff go?
Rachel: He offered me one.
Chandler: That's great.
Ross: Congratulations.
Rachel: I know it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great.
Ross: Can we- Can we just stop for a second. Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.
Rachel: The job is in Paris.

Phoebe: Hey.
Monica: Hey, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan.
Phoebe: Wrong again. Apparently, you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, "All right, here's an opportunity to be creative." So meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby.
Monica: Phoebe-
Phoebe: Ah, Princess Consuela.
Monica: You seriously changed your name to that?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Phoebe: Uh, no. I'm going to have my friends call me Valerie.

Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her, but I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he want to sleep with her? I mean, she is single and he is cute.
Chandler: Excuse me?
Monica: Oh, please. Yesterday on the subway, you couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Monica: Oh, sorry.
[Chandler gestures to Ross to indicate big breasts, when Monica sees him he instead mimes cradling a baby]

Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Joey: You know what, you're my friends. I wanna be supportive. I will come with you. Shotgun!
Chandler: Damn it.

Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, and the actual picket fences.
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it.

Rachel: Mark is so sweet.
Ross: Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why. What could that smarmy lech possibly want?