Tag: Ms. Greene would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you didn't use the words "old" or "downhill" or "They still look pretty damn good."
Joey: They do.

Monica: Rach, you're in a great place in your life. You have an amazing job, good friends.
Joey: Your roommate's a soap opera star.
Rachel: Your character is in a coma.
Joey: I promised myself I wasn't going to cry at this one.

Phoebe: I did it. One mile on a Hippity Hop. That's it. That's everything I wanted to do before I was 30. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. Oh, well. But, yay! And girls, this thing is a godsend if you know what I mean.

Phoebe: Happy 30th birthday! Here. It's for the child in you. And the woman.

Phoebe: Do you have mine?
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, we are 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Phoebe: I just lost a whole year of my life.
Ursula: Okay.
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
Ursula: Yes.
Phoebe: I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Ursula: Yes. Phoebe.
Phoebe: That's my first name.
Ursula: Right. Okay. Then, no.

Chandler: Open ours next. Open ours next.
Joey: Now that you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you guys?
Chandler: For my last birthday, you gave me a hug.

Rachel: As I was saying, I should probably have the first one by the time I'm 35. Which gives me five years. So if I want to have a kid when I'm 35, I don't have to get pregnant until I'm 34.
Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes. Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant.
Monica: Really? That long? Look all you want, it's happening.
Rachel: So I don't have to get married until I'm 33. That's three years. That's three whole years.
Wait a minute, though. I'll need a year and a half to plan the wedding. And I'd like to know the guy for like a year, year and a half before we get engaged. Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I'm 30.
Ross: Which is fine because you just turned 28!

Phoebe: I lost a whole year. I can't believe it. This is so unfair.
Joey: Come on, Pheebs, it'll be okay.
Phoebe: Will it? Will it? How would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Joey: That's not gonna happen. Because we have a new deal.

Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule. I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31.
Joey: Like what?
Phoebe: Like, okay, I haven't met any Portuguese people. I haven't had the perfect kiss. And I haven't been to sniper school.

Monica: Phoebe, why don't we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. I'll see you guys later. Thanks.
Rachel: Oh, Poor Pheebs.
Joey: Hey, you know what, you guys, I think I'm gonna walk her home.
Monica: Oh, man.
Chandler: What?
Monica: He's gonna eat the cake.