Phoebe: Thank you so much for this.
Rachel: You like it?
Phoebe: Oh, my God, it's all so elegant. When's the dirty stuff starting?
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: You know, the strippers and the guys dancing and, you know, pee-pees flying about.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe. Pheebs, I- Seriously, there isn't gonna be any "flying about." We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. I see what you're doing. That's fine. This is all there is. Just tea. Okay. Mmm. Raunchy.

Rachel: Seriously, Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party.
Phoebe: Really? So this is? This is my big sendoff into married life? Rachel, this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have. I've got a big wad of ones in my purse. Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
Rachel: No. Phoebe, of course there's more.
Phoebe: Okay.
Rachel: I mean, let me just go talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pees.

Officer Goodbody: So where's the young lady who I am supposed to take downtown?
Phoebe: Oh, God.
Officer Goodbody: All right. Somebody show me where to plug in my box and we'll get this party started. Wah! Over here?
Monica: Yeah.
Officer Goodbody: All right.
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Rachel: All right, look, we did not know you wanted a stripper, so we went to the phone book and got the first name we could find.
Phoebe: How old's your phone book?

Monica: Oh, my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment.
Phoebe: God, no. I don't wanna see him take his clothes off.
Officer Goodbody: Are you talking about me?
Monica: Oh, no. I mean, obviously we wanna see you take your clothes off. You big piece of eye candy.

Ross: You made out with Missy Goldberg? How could you do that after you promised me?
Chandler: Excuse me. That didn't make us sound gay at all.

Chandler: If we're really gonna do this, it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Ross: I didn't.
Chandler: Oh, really?
Ross: No.
Chandler: Oh, really?
Ross: No.
Chandler: Adrienne Turner.
Adrienne: Yes?
Ross & Chandler: Hey, Adrienne.

Rachel: Well, let's see, maybe he knows where Ross is. Hey, how's it going?
Chandler: Aren't you?
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this is Ross's sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving.
Chandler: Right. So how you doing?
Rachel: Bitchin'.
Chandler: Hi, Monica.
Monica: Hi, Chandler. It's really nice to see you. Not!

Monica: Oh, my God, Rach. Beanbag chairs. Do not let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.

Ross: Listen, Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.
Adrienne: Oh, believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Ross: Cool.

Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
Chandler: Well, I did. And it hurt. That's when I wrote the song "Betrayal in the Common Room."