Paul: Well, what can I say? This doesn't make me like you more.
Ross: That's okay. I'm not so crazy about myself right now either.
Paul: Then we agree?
Ross: I guess so.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross.
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Ross: Oh. Kids.

Rachel: Okay, Chandler.
Chandler: Okay.
Rachel: And your horoscope says: "On the 5th, a special someone is going to give you a gift."
Chandler: Well, thank you in advance.
Rachel: "Oh, but the 12th brings a lover's spat."
Monica: You are going to make a joke about my special present. Why would you do that?

Joey: Hey, guys.
Rachel: Hey. Oh, my God! It's Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Chandler: Oh, that's right. It's your first day. So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? I've dreamed about this for years. Why have I not been preparing?

Chandler: Are you judging them by their covers? Because you're really not supposed to do that.

Monica: How was your first day?
Joey: Pretty great. Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Chandler: Damn those robots. They're supposed to be our faithful servants.

Ross: What? What? What the. How did. What? The? How did?
Rachel: Well, you know, he lost his keys. So he was looking for them.
Ross: In your mouth?

Rachel: No. Downstairs. And we got to talking. you know, for like two hours. And I really liked him, so I invited him for a cup of coffee.
Ross: You were at the coffee house.

Joey: So apparently there's a million guys out there that can play Mac and there's only this one robot. And this one guy who controls it. I didn't know he could get me fired. What am I gonna do?
Monica: Well, you know, Joey, you're a pretty charming guy.
Joey: Thanks. But I have a problem to deal with here.
Monica: No, sweetie. You've got to win over the guy who controls C.H.E.E.S.E. You've got to go back there and kiss some serious robot ass.
Joey: That's not a bad idea. Okay, but If I have to turn on the charm tomorrow, I'm not wasting any more of it over here on you guys. Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you, Pheebs.

Chandler: So do you think Joey is more charming than me?
Monica: Yeah. That's why I'm sleeping with him on the side.
Chandler: Yeah, you wish.

Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffee house at 6:00.
Chandler: We said 7:00.
Monica: We said 6:00.
Chandler: The only way that I said 6:00 would be if I said the sentence, "Let's meet at 7:00, not at 6:00."
Monica: Yeah, and if I had said 7:00, maybe I would have said something like this: "Wow, myy boyfriend is such a wise ass. 7:00!"