Gunther: After you deliver the drinks, take the tray-
Rachel: Gunther, please. I have worked here for two and a half years. I know the empty trays go over there.
Gunther: What if you put them here?
Rachel: That's actually a good idea. That way they'll be closer to the mugs. You should have the other waitresses do that, too.
Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the tray spot.
Rachel: Geez, I always heard them talk about that and I sort of just thought it was a club they went to.

Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need The Fear.
Rachel: The Fear?
Chandler: He's right. Quit this job, and you'll have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Rachel: The how come you are still at a job that you hate? Why don't you quit and get The Fear?
Chandler: Because I'm too afraid.

Joey: I gotta go sell Christmas trees.
Phoebe: Have fun. Oh, wait. No, don't. I forgot. I am totally against that now.
Joey: What? Me having a job?
Phoebe: No, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime and their corpses grotesquely dressed in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights.

Phoebe: How do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around. Hey, Phoebe, listen. You got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees. They're fulfilling their life purpose by making people happy.
Phoebe: Really?
Chandler: Yes! Yes, and the trees are happy too because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.

Chandler: Does this mean we're going to have to start paying for coffee?

Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. Enjoy.
Chandler: Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.

Ross: Just admit it, Chandler. You have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me, little one. I have a very solid backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl is not a backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking ... Iike a Marine.

Ross: I'm going to see her tonight. I wanna bring her something. What would she like?
Monica: Maybe a Hello Kitty doll? The ability to walk?

Phoebe: That one doesn't look very fulfilled.
Joey: That's one of the old ones. He's just taking it to the back.
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back? That is so ageist.
Joey: Well, we have to make room for the fresh ones.
Phoebe: So what happens to the old guys?
Joey: They go into the chipper.
Phoebe: Why do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?

Ross: And these are shaped like Christmas characters: Santa, Rudolph and Baby Jesus.
Joey: Okay, I'll take a box of the cream-filled Jesuses.