Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Went to the store, Sat on Santa's lap, Asked him to bring my friends, All kinds of crap, Said all you need is, To write them a song, Now you haven't heard it yet, So don't try to sing along, No, don't sing along, Monica, Monica Have a happy Hannukah, Saw Santa Claus, He said hello to Ross, And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy, And Rachel and Chandler, [indistinct] Happy holidays, everybody!

Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you a merry Christmas.
Monica: What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?
Ross: Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
Monica: Well, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted, coming all the way from Texas.
Ben: Texas?
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the Southern states. And Mexico!

Ross: Hi. I'm an honorary Brown Bird. [blows whistle]
Woman: What does that mean?
Ross: Well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to the sleepovers.

Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know. I feel horrible, okay?
Chandler: It says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around 10-ish?

Chandler: Oh, I don't know.
Rachel: What?
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?