‘The One Where Rachel Finds Out’
Season 1, Episode 24 - Aired May 18, 1995
When Ross travels to China for work at short notice, he leaves Rachel a surprisingly expensive present for her birthday. Meanwhile, Joey must resist his girlfriend's attempts to get him into bed as he's secretly participating in a fertility study.
Quote from Monica
Monica: You know, the best part is you already know all about him. It'll be like starting on the 1 5th date.
Phoebe: But it would be like starting on the 15th date.
Monica: Another good point.
Phoebe: No, no, I mean, when you're on the 15th date, you're already in a very "relationship-y" place, you know. And you're committed. Well then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Monica: Why isn't it working out?
Rachel: I don't know. Sometimes it doesn't.
Monica: Is he not cute enough for you? Does he not make enough money?
Rachel: No, I'm just-
Phoebe: Maybe there's someone else.
Monica: ls there someone else?
Rachel: No, there is no one else.
Monica: Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Oh, God! Isn't he just the sweetest thing? You must just wanna kiss him all over.
Ross: That would be nice.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out? I promise I'll pay you back.
Chandler: Right. Including the waffles last week, you now owe me 17 jillion dollars.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Okay, we got the coleslaw and we got the buns.
Phoebe: We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys.
Quote from Joey
Joey: I don't know. She's pretty great.
Monica: What does she think of your little science project?
Joey: What, you think I'm going to tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?
Monica: Man's got a point.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Chandler: Crazy bitch.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: How long did you think this barbecue would last?
Chandler: I'm going to China.
Phoebe: Jeez, you say one thing, and-
Quote from Ross
Monica: To China?
Ross: It's for the museum. Someone found a bone. We want the bone. They don't want us to have it. I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the- It's a whole big bone thing.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Anyway, I'll be gone for a week. So if you want to reach me, you can't. So here's my itinerary. Here's a picture of me.
Phoebe: Oh, let me see.
Ross: Could you take it to Carol's now and then and show it to Ben just so he doesn't forget me?
Phoebe: "Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am The Head! Pahh!" [Ross stares blankly at Phoebe] All right, this barbecue's gonna be very fun.
Quote from Joey
Ross: Rachel's having drinks with him tonight.
Joey: Oh, no. How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?