Monica: Hey, have you guys eaten? Because Richard and l just finished, and we've got leftovers. Chicken and potatoes. What am I wearing? Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
[Chandler, on the phone, and Joey rush into the apartment]
Joey: You know, one of these times, you'll going to really be naked and we're not going to come over.

Monica: Okay, I got a leg, three breasts and a wing.
Chandler: How do you find clothes that fit?

Monica: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? [Chandler and Joey murmur] What?
Joey: I don't know.
Monica: Come on. He keeps his fingers to himself, and he's always minty fresh.
Chandler: Richard's really nice and everything. It's just that we just don't know him really well. Plus, he's old...er than some people. But younger than some buildings.

Monica: So what, he's a little older. Big deal. He's important to me. You know, if you ask him, he might take you in his Jag.
Joey: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not just doing it to ride in the cool car?
Chandler: Okay, this could be tough.
Joey: Okay, okay, okay. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
Chandler: Ooh, you almost had it.

Phoebe: I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident and she said my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.

Joey: What about when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats? You never even saw the money. Hey, Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats.
Chandler: You're welcome. Hey, Joey, thanks for parking the car.
Joey: No problem. Hey, Chandler-
Chandler: I think they get it.
Joey: Okay.

Ross: We're visiting. It's Ben and his dada. Dada. Can you say "dada"? Look, I'm gonna tell your mommies you said it, so you might as well try.

Monica: Why does this bother me so much? I'm not one of those people who wants to spend 24 hours a day together.
Phoebe: Sure.
Monica: He just doesn't have much free time. What do I do?
Phoebe: Does it matter? Ultimately you'll just die or divorce or have to blow your pet's head off.

Rachel: Ross? Ben just said hi.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ben just said hi.
Ross: What, the word "hi"?
Rachel: No, my Uncle Hi.

Phoebe: Thanks for the great movie tip.
Monica: Did you like it?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. I don't know if I was happier when George Bailey destroyed the business or Donna Reed cried or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Monica: All right, I'll give you the ear thing, but didn't you think the ending was pretty wonderful?
Phoebe: I didn't watch the ending. I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse. It should've been called: "It's a Sucky Life, And Just When You Think It Can't Suck Anymore, It Does!"