Ross: See, I don't believe this. I missed the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over. The first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet? Is he driving? Does he have a favorite liqueur?

Ross: I'm so sick of missing stuff. I want him for more than a day. I want him for a whole weekend. No, listen. I feel-
Susan: Fine.
Carol: That would be great.
Ross: Really? I had a whole speech prepared.
Susan: Oh, shoot, that would've been fun.

Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, what you got there?
Phoebe: Love Story, Brian's Song and Terms of Endearment.
Monica: Wow. All you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole, and you got yourself a party.

Rachel: No luck, huh?
Ross: No. A while ago, I got a "seh" out of him which I thought might turn into "seh-condary caregiver," but.

Ross: Actually, I kind of think that we'll have two babies.
Rachel: Two? Two babies?
Ross: Yeah. You know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully, the girl will come first, so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
Rachel: Then what's gonna happen?
Ross: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city, so we'll probably move to Scarsdale.
Rachel: Scarsdale.
Ross: That way we'll be far enough from our parents so we don't have to see them all the time, but close enough that they can baby-sit whenever we want. And yes, I know the taxes are a little higher than Nassau County but the school system's supposedly great.
Rachel: Wow, that's great. Great. Okay, wow. You know what? I'm off my break now. So, here, you take this. And I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Oh, look at that. I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home. Or in Scarsdale. Hey, is that a door?

Richard: Hey, Pheebs. What's happening?
Phoebe: Murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes.

Monica: So you watched the movies?
Phoebe: What is happening to the world? I mean. No, no, because E.T. Ieaves and Rocky loses.
Charlotte dies.
Richard: Charlotte who?
Phoebe: With the web. The spider. She dies. She has babies and dies. It's like, "Hey, welcome home from the hospital." Thud!

Monica: Then just go. Go Knicks.
Richard: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
Monica: Then, go Vassar.
Richard: They're not in it.
Monica: Okay, then just go.
Richard: Okay.

Richard: You guys see me as a dad?
Joey: Oh, yeah!
Chandler: No!
Joey: No.
Chandler: You're just clearly not familiar with our young persons' vernacular. See, when we say "dad," we mean "buddy." We mean "pal." No, seriously. Joey's my dad. Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.
Richard: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening. And I guess I'll just see you kids around.

Monica: For a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.
Richard: What are you talking about? I was killing them.
Monica: Yeah, well they suck too.