Jack Geller: [while watching a football match at the reception] Now l'm depressed! Even more than I was.

Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights. Does it get better than this?

Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So what is it about me?
Phoebe: I don't know. You're smart, you're funny.
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny. You ever think that about him?
Joey: Yeah, right! [everyone laughs]

Chandler: What is it?
Monica: I don't know. You just, you have a quality.
Phoebe: Yes, exactly.
Rachel: Yeah, a quality.
Chandler: Oh, oh, "a quality." Good. Because I was worried you were gonna be vague about this.

Rachel: Monica, your Dad just beeped in. Can you make it quick? I'm talking to Rome.

Monica: Oh, God! The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse.
Ross: Yeah, they were gross.

Chandler: I just have to know, okay? Is it my hair?
Rachel: Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.

Phoebe: So did she?
Ross: Twice.
Joey: Twice?
Phoebe: Oh, that sucks.

Phoebe: No, I mean, maybe no one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then I get this feeling that she's right here, you know? Oh! And Debbie, my friend from junior high got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course. I always get this strong Debbie vibe when I use one of those little yellow pencils, you know. I miss her.
Rachel: Aw. Here, Pheebs. Want this?
Phoebe: Oh, thanks. Sure.
Rachel: I just sharpened her this morning.

Joey: See, I don't believe any of that. When you're dead you're dead. You're gone. You're worm food. [depressed silence] So Chandler looks gay, huh?