‘The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance’
Season 6, Episode 4 - Aired October 14, 1999
After Joey injures himself just as his health insurance lapses, he is forced to take an acting job while in agony. Meanwhile, Ross begins teaching a class at NYU and adopts an English accent to impress his students, and Rachel discovers Ross's secret.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: What's going on?
Chandler: Well, Joey's got a really bad hernia, but it's nothing a little laser eye surgery won't fix.
Quote from Ross
Ross: How weird is that? You know, you're moving in with me and you have the one thing I don't have. It's like, in a way, you complete me... huh? Kitchen.
Rachel: What?
Ross: You complete me kitchen, matey.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate? They loved it.
Rachel: Well, who wouldn't?
Ross: I know!
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: Hey, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Chandler: Yeah.
Phoebe: She told me that I'm gonna die this week, so I'm kind of bummed about that.
Chandler: What?
Phoebe: Yeah. And I know you guys don't know a lot about psychic readings, but that is pretty much the worst one you can get.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: You don't believe her, do you?
Phoebe: I don't know. She said that I would have triplets, but she also said one of them would be black.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Why don't you open with a joke?
Ross: Open with a joke? It's a university, not a comedy club.
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone. You're not talking about Chuckles University?
Quote from Chandler
Ross: I don't even know why I bothered to even talk to you guys about it. You know, I'm just gonna do it on my own, with no naked chicks.
Chandler: That's the way I did it till I was 19.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: You got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Joey: Ooh, it's probably a residual check. Can you open it? I got-
Chandler: "Benefits lapsed."
Joey: That's weird. I don't remember being in a movie called Benefits Lapsed.
Quote from Joey
Joey: This sucks. When I had insurance, I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, you know? And it wouldn't matter. Now I gotta be careful?
Chandler: I'm sorry, man. There's never a good time to have to ... stop catching on fire.
Quote from Ross
Monica: Hey, how'd the lecture go?
Ross: It went great. And I didn't need any jokes or naked chicks either.
Rachel: That's great. I'm sorry we weren't supportive before.
Ross: I knew all I had to was let the material speak for itself. Everyone's all, "Ross, you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong. And now I'm going to pass the news on to Joey and Chandler.
Monica: That you're not funny or sexy?
Ross: That's right.