Chandler: What is wrong with Emma?
Monica: Oh, she misunderstood. She thought she was moving to Tulsa.

Joey: Hey. So how is it?
Ross: I broke my thumb.
Joey: Your thumb? That's weird. Are you sure you're punching right? Make a fist. ... Maybe later.

Rachel: Oh, my God. How long has she been crying?
Monica: About a week and a half.

Rachel: God, what am I gonna do, you guys? I can't even comfort my own baby. I'm the worst mother ever.
Monica: No, you're just new at this. You'll get better. I mean, think about your first day at work.
That couldn't have been easy, but you figured that out.
Rachel: Yeah, but I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here!

Phoebe: Have I gone deaf?
Monica: It worked.

Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed!

Rachel: Oh, my God. You got her to stop crying.
Monica: Yes, I did. I'm Monica, super aunt.
Rachel: You are the official baby-crier stopper.
Monica: Yes, I am.
Rachel: You're never leaving the apartment.
Monica: Say what?
Rachel: That's your new job, day or night. She starts crying, I need you here.
Monica: Oh, no, no, no.

Monica: We just got her to go to sleep.
Chandler: Oh. So there can't be any yelling?
Monica: No.
Chandler: We're moving to Tulsa.
Monica: What?
Chandler: Ssh. Ssh. I can't- I can't hear.

Rachel: Where have you been? What happened to you?
Ross: I had a little thing with Joey. If you think this is bad, you should see him. [chuckles]

Rachel: You have got to get over this Joey thing. Okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: You know what I really, really want?
Ross: What, Rach?
Rachel: I wanna sleep. I wanna eat. I wanna take a shower. I mean, before she wakes up, and we gotta do this all over again.
Ross: Right.
Rachel: I mean, because I got news for you, mister. Emma, not easy.