Eddie: What was that?
Phoebe: I just thought that it'd be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Eddie: Yeah, all right. That's sounds all right.
Phoebe: Oh, good. Oh, no. I have to go, because I'm late for my Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Tonight, it's "Why he would not eat them on a train." Have fun. Bye.

Eddie: That's good. So who broke up with who?
Chandler: Are you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
Eddie: That's good, man. When everybody knows that the capital of Cambodia is-
Chandler: Well, It's not Sean Penn.

Ross: Good, good. So was your mustache- Did it used to be different?
Richard: No.
Ross: How do you, you know, keep it so neat?
Richard: I have a little comb.
Ross: Oh. What do you call that?
Richard: A mustache comb.
Ross: Interesting.

Phoebe: Here's Monica. She'll have something nice to say.
Monica: I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me, that's nice.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] And a crusty old man, Said I'll do what I can, And the rest of the rats, Played maracas.

Monica: Before I tell you, you tell me how many women you've been with.
Richard: Two.
Monica: Two? Two? How is that possible? I mean have you seen you?

Ross: So were you in 'Nam?

Joey: It's like you work your whole life for something and you think that when you get it it'll never be as good as you thought. But this so was. It changed everything. Like, the other day, I got this credit card application and I was pre-approved. I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
Chandler: I'm sorry, man.
Rachel: Joey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
Joey: No, that means nothing to me.

Phoebe: Is this true? That you write a lot of your own lines?
Joey: Well, kind of, yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well, the line in the script was "If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die." But I made it, "If this woman doesn't get to a hospital she's not gonna live."
Phoebe: Oh, okay. I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid the writers will be kind of mad when they read this?
Joey: Huh. I never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kind of come to my house.
But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good which makes the writers look good. So how could they be mad about that?

Rachel: Come on, Joey, we care about you.
Chandler: We're worried about you.
Monica: And some of us really have to pee.