Martin: Would you like to see part of the act?
Daphne: We'd love to.
Martin: Oh, great. Take a seat. Come on, Eddie! Show time! [Eddie enters] Okay. Eddie, what should you do before you cross a street?
[Eddie looks to the left and then the right]
Martin: That's right! Look both ways. How about if a stranger approaches you?
[Eddie backs away and barks, before seeking safety with Niles & Daphne]
Martin: Right again! Yell, and run to someone you trust. Okay. What about if you catch on fire?
[Eddie jumps off the couch and stops on the carpet in front of Martin. Eddie drops to the ground and rolls around]
Martin: That's right! Stop, drop, and roll. What do you think?

Frasier: Darn. This drawer isn't closing properly. I'd better go get my tools and have a look at it.
Niles: You sure you know what you're doing?
Frasier: Niles, please. I built a house. I think I can handle a simple drawer. You know, it's probably the slidey thing. Or the drawer may have become warped. If that's the case, then she's going to need to be planed, sanded, and refitted.
[Niles kneels down and examines the drawer from the side]
Niles: Or you could turn the stapler on its side. [closes the drawer with ease]
Frasier: I paid good money for an upright stapler, Niles.

Frasier: You know, I had a lot of time to think about this space when I was watching the plaster dry. I was plaster watcher.

Daphne: What does she think she's doing?
Niles: I guess this is just her childish attempt to embarrass us. Working here, she's hoping we'll retreat in humiliation.
Daphne: I stopped being humiliated after she showed up in that Spring Break video.

Martin: Well, it's been 60 years, but once again, I am the toast of the second grade.
Niles: Congratulations.
Daphne: So it went well, then?
Martin: Oh, the kids loved it! When it was over, they all ran out and gave me and Eddie big hugs.
Niles: [moving away from Martin] Well, Dad, then you might just want to consider having that uniform cleaned. Kids that age are always carrying germs. God knows what you picked up.

Mrs. Grant: We like the cow. It's cute.
Mr. Grant: Besides, we're thinking about replacing the shutters. Maybe put up some awnings.
Mrs. Grant: And a screen door. Wouldn't that be cozy?
Frasier: Gosh, I'm sorry. Everything's going so fast. I, uh, last night when I drove away from here, it seemed like we were all on the same page. Now it feels like we're working at cross-purposes. How do we feel about the accessories?
Mrs. Grant: They're okay.
Frasier: Okay? Last night, they were to die for!
Mr. Grant: That doesn't sound like something I'd say.
Frasier: Well, I remember somebody saying it.

Niles: Hello, safety fans. I'm Citizen-Officer Niles, and this is my partner, Officer Eddie. [silence from the crowd] Okay. Officer Eddie will now show us how to act in various dangerous situations. Say, Officer Eddie, can you show the kids what to do before they cross the street.
[Eddie sits down]
Niles: That's right. We wait for the signal. Okay, uh, Eddie, show the boys and girls what to do if they're lost.
[Eddie runs off the stage to Martin]
Niles: Eddie? Come here boy, hey.

Frasier: Oh, Roz, hey, come and join me. I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm not sure the Grants are the right family for our house.
Roz: Who?
Frasier: The Grants. The people who moved into the house we built.
Roz: You went back there?
Frasier: Just a few times, yes, to try to share with them the principles of decor, room flow, general livability. Then they literally showed me the door. Yes, Roz, the very door I hung for them in the first place. Take a moment to digest the irony.

Roz: Frasier, what do you expect? It's their house.
Frasier: Yes, but I helped to build it.
Roz: Okay, untangling extension cords and stirring paint isn't exactly building a house.
Frasier: Oh, I know I didn't do much. The truth is I've never really been very handy. In elementary school, I made an ashtray for my dad. It caught fire.

Roz: Frasier, you did your part, but now you have to let go. Poor family. Probably think you're some rich arrogant guy who's bossing everyone around.
Frasier: Oh, Lord. Well, maybe I owe them an apology, Roz, I mean the last thing I want Marge and Chet to think of me is that I'm some sort of snob. Did I tell you they have a cow mailbox at the end of their driveway?
Roz: My mom has a cow mailbox.
Frasier: Well, sure, that's Wisconsin. The buckle on the bumpkin belt.