Martin: Good job, Niles!
Niles: Thanks.
Martin: It was touch and go there for a while, but you came through with flying colors. Hey, quick thinking making up that stuff about the hot dogs.
Niles: Thanks, Dad, but, you know, I didn't make anything up.
Martin: I said it was okay to make up that stuff about the hot dogs, which I love and had for breakfast.
Niles: Yes, well, I guess I was faster on my feet than I knew.

Roz: Are you sure you took enough credit for the house?
Frasier: I took just enough, Roz. It's not my fault I'm not licensed to use a plug-in tool.
Roz: Frasier, those guys... you don't need a... never mind.

Daphne: Anyhow, she pinched me keys and drove off in a snit. Niles had to drive me over. Why I'm so mad I could break something! Are you ready, Martin?
Martin: Let's give it a few more minutes.

Frasier: Um, actually, if you don't mind a little suggestion. Um, if you put the couch, say, like this, you see, you've got a lovely conversation area, as well as a clear view of the television.
Mrs. Grant: You really have a gift for this.
Frasier: Oh, gosh. It's hardly a gift. It's a knack perhaps. A flair at best.
Mrs. Grant: Wow. Wait until we tell people that our living room was decorated by Dr. Frasier Crane.
Frasier: Oh, please. Hardly decorated, but you know, if you'd like to sit down and sketch out a few ideas together, I'd be delighted.

Frasier: It seems somebody has put a- a cow mailbox at the end of your driveway.
Mrs. Grant: That's ours. Chet put it up this morning.
Mr. Grant: If you want, we'd be happy to give you back the one you gave us.
Frasier: No, no, no, that's not necessary. It was a gift, and it was custom-painted to match the shutters. Exactly the way I pictured it when this house was no more than a foundation. Now the cow is -is beautiful, but is it really the first impression you want to make? Remember, a mailbox is a house's handshake.

Martin: The kids are looking forward to seeing the safety show. Eddie and I aren't going to let them down.
Niles: Okay, if you really think you can do this.
Martin: I can. [standing up, out of breath] And by the way, you're just as beautiful today as you were the day I married you.
Niles: Okay, I let that go the first time. Sit down.

Principal: Okay, but you'll have to go on in his place.
Niles: No, I can't do that.
Principal: Yes, you can. Safety is everyone's concern. And I can't guarantee yours if you don't.

Principal: What the hell is he doing?
Martin: He's freaking me out. That's what he's doing.

Principal: Okay. Okay, one more, and then we have to say goodbye.
Niles: Well, I can't leave without mentioning our friend, the hot dog. Or perhaps it should be called "hot parasitic cysts, insect fragments, general grit, and rodent droppings." Thank you.
Principal: Thank you, Dr. Crane, for that most enlightening talk, and right before lunch. Everyone exit in a single line to the cafeteria, please.

James: Excuse me, sir. I just wanted to say, you were great up there.
Niles: Thank you. [before leaving, Niles turns around] Hey, kid! [He pulls out his a new pocket square and throws it to the kid] Here.
James: Wow. Thanks, Citizen-Officer Niles.