Frasier: Oh, Roz. Roz, I wanted to talk to you about this.
Roz: Oh, my God, you still have that?
Frasier: Yes, well, I was glancing at it. I couldn't help but notice the overall score you gave me. Out of a possible five cups of coffee, it was a four.
Roz: Yeah, that's a good score.
Frasier: It's a fine score. But it occurs to me that this presents an opportunity for me to learn something about my performance that might benefit me. So, what might I have done to earn that elusive fifth cup?
Roz: Oh, I'm a tough grader. No one's a five-cupper.
Frasier: Nevertheless, there is a theoretical fifth cup out there. Now, I'm going to put ego aside, this is all about self-improvement. My commitment to "sexcellence" if you will.
Roz: You just lost a cup.

Niles: Your first date?
Mr. Moon: She had me over for dinner.
Gertrude: Oh, do you remember, I cooked you bubble and squeak.
Mr. Moon: And then we went out, got squiffy and half starkers and snogged behind the chippy.
[Mr. Moon and Gertrude laugh]
Niles: You lost me after the word "dinner," but the language of love is universal.

Niles: What happened to snogging behind the chippy?

Daphne: No chance of you and Mum getting back together?
Mr. Moon: Don't think so, love. Not this time.
Daphne: Maybe if you give it another chance. You could-
Mr. Moon: Daphne, I'm sorry. It's over. Has been for a long time. I mean, I've got no complaints, I got something wonderful out of it: you.
Daphne: If you don't love each other, why did you stay together for forty years? Through all the fighting and the screaming and the hitting?
Mr. Moon: That was for you kids.

Daphne: I can't believe this is really happening. I mean, maybe I'm naive, but I always thought love would save the day.
Mr. Moon: Well, you know, we all think that when we're young. But then life beats us around a bit and you learn to dream a little smaller.
Daphne: So that's how it goes, two people meet, they're together for forty years, and then all of a sudden it just ends.
Mr. Moon: But it's different for you. I mean, you've found the right person.
Daphne: You barely know him.
Mr. Moon: Well, all I know is, I threw him out of my pub six times and six times he marched back in and yammered me ear off until, until I went back with him to America, all to make you happy. I never did anything like that for your mother. No no, I tell ya, Daphne, you've got the right one there. A good one, you know? And another thing, he's worth a bob or two.

Daphne: I want to marry you.
Niles: I want to marry you.
Daphne: No, I want to marry you now!
Niles: As in... now?
Daphne: Yes.
Niles: Why?
Daphne: Why? Because you'd do anything, even put up with my insane family, to make me happy. Because you'd travel halfway around the world to make my dreams come true, even the impossible ones. And because I can't spend one more minute without being your wife, Niles Crane. Because I adore you.
Niles: But I thought you always wanted a big wedding.
Daphne: Do you want to make my dreams come true? This is my dream.

Niles: Mr. Moon?
Mr. Moon: You again! Didn't I toss you out of here last night?
Niles: Six times. But if you'll just give me a minute to...
Mr. Moon: Gentlemen, this lad has traveled all the way from America to reunite me with my wife.
[The crowd jeers as Mr. Moon gets ready to throw Niles out of the pub]
Niles: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You never gave me a chance to buy a round of drinks.
[The crowd starts to cheer as Mr. Moon relents and drags Niles over to the bar]
Mr. Moon: All right, the usual, Ray. Start talking. You got one pint. [starts drinking quickly]
Niles: Mr. Moon, a great man once wrote that "The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference."
Mr. Moon: Done. Get out.
Niles: Mr. Moon. Mr. Moon, your wife, your wife is miserable without you. I think you should give her a second chance. After all, you were married for forty years.
Mr. Moon: Forty years too long.

Frasier: Mind if I join you, Roz?
Roz: Oh, please. You can help me kill some time. Roger's picking up his things from my apartment and I don't want to run into him.
Frasier: Ah. Afraid you'll fight?
Roz: Worse. I'm afraid we'll end up in bed. I don't know. There's something about him that is irresistible.
Frasier: I understand.
Roz: Trust me, you don't. Roger is the best lover I've ever been with. ... Oh, my God, what am I saying? You were great, too.
Frasier: Roz, really, there's no need to do this.
Roz: It's just that I forgot and, well, technically it wasn't really sex because it was you, but whatever it was, it was great.
Frasier: Roz, please, there's no need to discuss it.
Roz: I was one satisfied customer.
Frasier: Glad to hear it.

Frasier: Niles, are you and Daphne planning on having children?
Niles: Someday. Why?
Frasier: No reason.

Martin: Hey, guys.
Frasier: Oh, hi, Dad. How was work?
Martin: Great. I finally busted that guy who was writing "Seymour Butzs" on the sign-out sheets.
Frasier: So, who was it?
Martin: Senior Vice-President Butz. I'm on probation for a week.